This is Tom.
I realize this photo is blurry, but Tom wouldn’t stay still.
This is also Tom…
…in white jeans, a wig, and faux-fur vest. I have no explanation for this.
Tom has been a friend of ours since our daughters were in kindergarten. He is a father of two, he is obsessed with his meat smoker, he’s Italian, and he’s a pain in my butt. Every time I see him he tells me he “wants to be on my blog.” So, here you go, Tom. You’ve officially made it!
But, this post isn’t just about him; it is a sweeping generalization of what it takes to be, what I consider, a good friend. Tom fits the bill, would you? If so, call me. Also, pick up a pizza on your way over.
1. There must be no pretense. The best thing a person can bring to a friendship is their authentic self. Period.
2. I like a good story-teller and the more humorous the story, the better. No pressure.
3. You should not be easily offended. For instance, if you display any of #1 by telling me about your new car, you should be able to take the teasing I will dish out because you have two kids and two dogs and you bought a two-door car. *cough* Tom. *cough*
4. Beer-drinking is a plus. Throwing parties with the request that each person bring a signature cocktail is a triple plus bonus!
5. You have to be willing to come pick me up on the side of a road in the middle of the night if my car breaks down. Because I would do the same for you. Or your kids, or your grandma. Tom probably wouldn’t do this, but his wife would, so he is awarded #5 by proxy.
6. If my kids are doing something wrong, I expect a good friend to pull them aside and tell them to knock it off…and why. It takes a village, people. It takes a village.
7. You should appreciate a good inside joke. For instance: Tom, the vest was awesome, but you should have worn the bike shorts.
8. Be willing to embarrass yourself for the friendship’s greater good. See above photo for proof.
9. Own pets. Most of my good friends are pet-owners. Only a couple of them have cats, so pretty much just dog-people. Pet owners have good souls and dog-people get bonus points, because duh. Dogs.
10. Understand that I’m a busy woman so writing one blog post about you is doable, but two would be pushing it. Though if there’s more of #4, we’ll talk.