This is Tom

posted by Momo Fali on August 4, 2013

This is Tom.


I realize this photo is blurry, but Tom wouldn’t stay still.

This is also Tom…


…in white jeans, a wig, and faux-fur vest. I have no explanation for this.

Tom has been a friend of ours since our daughters were in kindergarten. He is a father of two, he is obsessed with his meat smoker, he’s Italian, and he’s a pain in my butt. Every time I see him he tells me he “wants to be on my blog.” So, here you go, Tom. You’ve officially made it!

But, this post isn’t just about him; it is a sweeping generalization of what it takes to be, what I consider, a good friend. Tom fits the bill, would you? If so, call me. Also, pick up a pizza on your way over.

1. There must be no pretense. The best thing a person can bring to a friendship is their authentic self. Period.

2. I like a good story-teller and the more humorous the story, the better. No pressure.

3. You should not be easily offended. For instance, if you display any of #1 by telling me about your new car, you should be able to take the teasing I will dish out because you have two kids and two dogs and you bought a two-door car. *cough* Tom. *cough*

4. Beer-drinking is a plus. Throwing parties with the request that each person bring a signature cocktail is a triple plus bonus!

5. You have to be willing to come pick me up on the side of a road in the middle of the night if my car breaks down. Because I would do the same for you. Or your kids, or your grandma. Tom probably wouldn’t do this, but his wife would, so he is awarded #5 by proxy.

6. If my kids are doing something wrong, I expect a good friend to pull them aside and tell them to knock it off…and why. It takes a village, people. It takes a village.

7. You should appreciate a good inside joke. For instance: Tom, the vest was awesome, but you should have worn the bike shorts.

8. Be willing to embarrass yourself for the friendship’s greater good. See above photo for proof.

9. Own pets. Most of my good friends are pet-owners. Only a couple of them have cats, so pretty much just dog-people. Pet owners have good souls and dog-people get bonus points, because duh. Dogs.

10. Understand that I’m a busy woman so writing one blog post about you is doable, but two would be pushing it. Though if there’s more of #4, we’ll talk.


  • Melisa


    Teach me to like beer, Obi Wan.

    • Momo Fali

      Rum counts! As does vodka. YOU WIN.

    • Tabatha

      SOME OF US WOULD LITERALLY DIE IF WE DRANK BEER, MOMO. Don’t hate; inebriate. With non-beer alcoholic beverages. Like tequila.

  • Melisa

    Also, “Hi Tom! Congrats!”

  • tara

    Hahaha this is so awesome! Also, I’m totally jealous that you have friends that request to be on your blog. All of mine ask me to change their name. 🙁 I’m not sure what that says about my blog….hmmm

    A two door car? Really Tom? 🙂

    • Momo Fali

      Right, Tara? TWO DOORS.

  • Shannon

    That is a perfect friend description. I just nodded my head with every single one of them.
    P?S. I like dogs and beer. But not necessarily dogs drinking beer.

  • Arnebya

    This is absolutely perfect. Friendship is easily describable when you know what you give (your all) and what you expect in return (their all. Or at least a (better) half to pick you up on the side of the road).

  • Mo at Mocadeaux

    Great description of an honest, true, no-drama friendship. The best kind!

  • SunbonnetSmart

    Wow! Tom is so cool. This list is cool. You are cool, MOMO. And, I am all the more cool, because I know you both. However, I must surrender a portion of coolness because we never ran into each other at BlogHer ’13. How could that be?

    Because what isn’t planned to happen at BlogHer, doesn’t happen at BlogHer. Next year, MOMO, next year. Much Love, Fondly, Robin

    • Momo Fali

      One of the first things I said to Karen and Denise when I got home? “I never met Sunbonnet!”

  • AlisonH

    Love it! Go Tom!

    We had a New Year’s Eve where one kid had one of our cars in San Francisco, 45 minutes north, and the other one went to a youth-group dance in San Jose, 30 minutes south, with the other car and a brand-new license and a promise to leave by 12:30 before it got crazy out there.

    Which he did. But on his way out of there, with a center divider on a main road, there was suddenly someone speeding at him on his side of the road and the only thing he could do was throw it into that center divider to avoid them: $6500 worth of damage, disemboweling our Prius. (Thank you thank you thank you to the service center manager at Capitol Toyota in San Jose for asking the next day how it happened and then exclaiming, Well done, kid! Lives were saved by his quick thinking, and cars can be replaced.)

    So. Here we were with a scared frantic new driver half an hour away and no car to rescue him when the tow truck driver dropped him and his car off at that dealership in the dark and no way that his brother could reach him any time soon.

    We thought about who we could call–Glenn. Glenn’s got his faults but Glenn would do it in a heartbeat. We woke him up with that call but he immediately jumped in his car, swung by here so that our kid could have his daddy too, and got down there and rescued the poor kid, and it was past 2:30 am before they all got to go home to bed.

    Thank you, Glenn! We will never forget it.

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