I read this post today and I feel the need to tell Heather that she is not alone in her imperfection and that her flaws are what make her human. We are not just our Facebook photos or Pinterest boards. We are real people with real issues. I could write a series of blog posts on medical bills alone. Also, zits at 42. I could tell you all about that.
So for Heather, I’m sharing some of my recent non-spectacular moments:
- I yelled at my kids today – like loud enough that the neighbors could hear. It was the result of two hours in the car, their constant bickering, 5:30pm traffic, and a stinkbug.
- I gave myself a manicure while on Ambien. Again. It wasn’t pretty.
- There is a package of toilet paper sitting on my dresser. My dresser is not near any of the toilets.
- My kids eat mac & cheese from a box at least once a week.
- I suffer from pretty awful anxiety and insomnia. I grind my teeth, I pick my cuticles, I constantly shake my legs, and as soon as I get up in the morning I start thinking about how much I want it to be nighttime so I can go back to bed. Life is hard. But, it could always be harder and if I didn’t laugh about the crazy circumstances I wouldn’t be able to function.
- Sometimes I get wedgies.
- My son loves his new school, but he’s been punched twice and pushed to the ground by a high-school kid and it scares me, because I don’t want to have to hurt any children.
- This is a conversation I had with my son today:
Me: You can NOT send your status updates from the “Pocket Frogs” app to my Twitter account. I’ve told you that before and if you do it again, you will never, ever get to play another game on the iPad. Understood?
Him: Never? But, what if you’re dead?
- This is a conversation my son had with his County Developmental Disability Coordinator when she asked him (kind of ridiculous, but mandatory) questions about his self-care:
Coordinator: Do you shave yet?
Him: No, but I have a little mustache. And, I have a very, very hairy back.
- I ran three miles today and I had to stop ten times.
- I prefer to show people that I’m flawed, because then I can exceed their expectations. Sometimes. My house can never exceed expectations because it smells like burnt coffee and dog feet.
Now it’s your turn. Tell me something real.