Day 11 – Burned

posted by Momo Fali on November 11, 2013

I hit a new cooking low tonight – I burned rice. I checked on it a full SEVEN minutes early, yet there was my new stainless steel pot with 1/2 inch layer of crusted grains stuck to the bottom.

In a Thanksgiving cooking class a few years ago, I forgot to put sugar in my pumpkin pie. And, during a Christmas dinner I served brownies iced with Cool Whip and crushed candy canes. Do you know what it sounds like when eight people are eating crushed candy canes at the same time? There isn’t enough Andy Williams in the world to drown out the crunching.

My husband would probably have a much longer list of my kitchen fails. So would my daughter. My son once ate a beet and a radish at the same time so he doesn’t get a taste opinion.

I won’t even mention my cakes.

Cooking is a lot like life. Sometimes it turns out crusty, soggy or just plain rotten, and sometimes it’s smooth and delicious. What I can say for certain is that there isn’t always a quick fix; you can’t come to depend on microwaved meals all the time.

So I’m going to step away from the instant stuff and do a little more slow cooking. I won’t give up on my kitchen dreams, because you just never know when you won’t burn the rice.


  • Mama D

    Buy one of these–totally serious. I haven’t made rice on the stovetop in 20 years and I cook rice at least once a week. These things rock!!

    • Arnebya

      Oh, boy, I read this comment as “Maxi-Pads-Microwave-Rice-Cooker” and wondered what the hell Mama D was drinking.

  • CyndyBush

    That success rice that you boil in the bag? THE BOMB.

  • Melisa

    If burning rice is a cooking low for you then I don’t even want to tell you about my mistakes in that area.

    Also, I need to talk to the boy about why anyone would eat a beet and a radish simultaneously because there has to be a good story there, too. 🙂

  • MM

    Rice cooler all the way. It won’t help with everything but at least you won’t be scrubbing burnt rice out of pans!

  • Shannon

    I admit to regularly buying Trader Joes microwave in a bag organic brown rice. It is very good.
    Visions of people crunching candy cane bits has now permanently replaced any visions of sugarplums dancing in my head.

  • Arnebya

    Oh, rice. I’ve even started microwaving the damn bagged rice because lazy. Whenever I cook rice the regular way — on the stove, with water — I have to watch it because it’ll cook down faster than the lying ass box says it will and I have to add more water and then sometimes, HARD RICE.

  • Ann in NJ

    Rice Cooker. $20 ish at Costco. Never burn your rice again. Even get it ready to go early, set the time and ignore.

    If you must do it on the stovetop? Low heat. REALLY low heat. Twice as much water as rice, plus a smidgen more, cover, set timer for 20 min. When it boils, turn it as low as your stove will go, you may have to adjust the lid to leave a small gap so it doesn’t boil over. This will give you sticky rice like a Chinese restaurant. If you want fluffy rice, use more water and a strainer when it’s done.

  • Brigid

    I have (more than once) forgotten about eggs I was hard boiling. I was upstairs once when the explosions started. I was finding egg parts a room away for weeks…

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