What’s Your Talent?

posted by Momo Fali on March 13, 2014

My son has a talent show at his school next month. While his performance is not my decision, I’ll probably be the one making the choice. First of all, because he can’t decide between, oh – pretty much anything – and secondly, because I’m controlling.

I am deeply torn between him yodeling, doing his Gollum imitation, or conducting the theme from Star Wars. He does them all equally well, so there’s no determining it by level of talent. No matter what, I think we can all recognize he will win at being geeky; which is to say he can not lose.

The last time he was in a talent show was in preschool where he dressed in a tuxedo and danced with his sister. That was back when she still liked him.

shut up with the cuteness!

When my daughter attended that same preschool she got up and sang “God Bless America” which was pretty much the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen. It was shortly after 9/11 and she brought the house to tears. She’s a freshman in high school now and recently juggled for her class. She could have also played the piano, or sang, sketched a picture, or solved some massive algebra problem. Lower the bar for people like your mother, kid!

I don’t know what I would have done if I had been in a talent show as a child. I would’ve been like, “Everybody needs to go outside so you can watch me climb a tree.” Oh, wait there was that time I performed for our neighbors by singing “Elvira” on the back of a sawhorse.

I thought I was a great singer, especially when I used to close myself in our half bathroom with my tape recorder and belt out Barbra Streisand’s “Evergreen” like I knew love was as soft as an easy chair. I didn’t really know anything about love, or how to sing, and I still don’t really know what an easy chair is. I had an aunt nicknamed, “Easy” but I don’t think it had anything to do with a chair.

Anyway, I’m stumped. I may just need your assistance in deciding. In the meantime, tell me, what’s YOUR talent?


  • Melisa

    Obsessing. The end.

    • Momo Fali

      That just made me cough-laugh which made me realize I have the talent of sounding like a 30-year, pack-a-day smoker.

      • Melisa

        Because you don’t believe me? Or because you know it’s true?

        Never mind. I’ll obsess for a few minutes and figure it out for myself.

  • Shannon

    I have quick hands. When I drop something I almost always catch it before it hits the ground. I think I missed my calling as a pickpocket.
    I vote for yodeling.

    • Momo Fali


      • Momo Fali

        And, I mean the pickpocketing part, not the yodeling.

  • Liz

    I can do the gangsta “live long and prosper” Vulcan hand gesture, yo.

    • Momo Fali

      Just like that, your new nickname is Spock.

  • sassymonkey

    I have no talent. I am that sad, sad person. lol

  • jwg

    1. Does he want to perform?
    2. Does he have to?

    Maybe he could be the stage manager? Or the stage manager’s helper?

    If not, get a book and teach him a couple of easy and very visual magic tricks.

  • Kevin

    I’m a stay at home dad. Our son has ADHD and is the true definition of ‘driven by a motor’.
    It appears I have a crazy amount of patience with children. So much, that I was recently hired for a part time job, on the spot, where I interact with 5th graders all day.
    Often I think I can interact and get along with any kid, except my own.

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