After networking and learning at the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop over the weekend, I came home, unpacked, put the business cards I collected into a pile, and started reading one of the three books I brought home. But, before I can really start processing everything, there are some questions lingering on the surface of my brain. I need to ask them before I can dive any deeper.

1. I worked in retail all through high school and college and even spent a couple of years on my feet every day as a lunch lady; so why, outside of pregnancy, do I only get cankles when I’m at a conference? You haven’t seen edema until you’ve seen conference feet.

2. Where is housekeeping when I really need them?

3. Why aren’t there roses and candles on my dinner table? Speaking of dinner, who’s going to make it?

Erma Table

4. After stalking author W. Bruce Cameron for an afternoon, why does this picture of the two of us have to show that I have a nose so large, it casts a shadow on my chin?

WBruceCameron1

5. And, why does attempt #2 look like I have a floating head the size of a pumpkin?

WBruceCameron2

6. Seriously?

WBruceCameron3

7. Where’s my dessert?

8. Why are my pants so tight?

9. Why doesn’t the cashier at Target want my business card?

10. How can I bottle the hilarious, heartfelt stories and laughter from 350 other people, bring it home and drink from it any time?

11. Why hasn’t Phil Donahue called?

    Comments

  • Shannon


    I have many of the same questions. Also, where is my after dinner cake?
    I loved hanging out with you this weekend.

    • Momo Fali


      I really wish you still lived in Ohio.

  • Liz


    **snort**

  • Junk Drawer Kathy


    OMG. Dying! If you hadn’t suggested “floating pumpkin head” I would have never seen it, but now I can’t unsee it. If we ever meet again in real life, and have our picture taken, do you promise to pose with your giant pumpkin head because I need to get my picture of that? Oh, sorry. I don’t mean “giant” pumpkin head. Floating. Sorry. I have to get your adjectives right. You said floating. So floating. Not giant.

    • Momo Fali


      Or, BOTH.

  • Suniverse


    I am SO SAD I didn’t get to see you and your fabulous cankles.

    XOXOXO

    • Momo Fali


      Me too! Me and my cankles missed you!

  • Kari


    It’s like you and Bruce Cameron are sharing a body.
    Yes that’s right.
    I left the W off his name.
    Cuz we are tight.

    It was so much fun hanging with you at a bar.
    With Erma’s children next to us.
    And a baby in the background.

    So many memories… I need to move back to Ohio.

    • Momo Fali


      And, who can forget Shannon’s face when she saw Erma’s kids sitting next to us?

  • Leslie


    Priceless! That hotel ballroom lighting is NOBODY’S friend, I tell you. But also, it’s not the size of the (pumpkin) head, but the quality of the filling, and girl…you got quality. So glad I got to see you. Wish we could have had more time together!

    • Momo Fali


      That’s cute how you think it wasn’t in the bar.

  • Jamie


    You are definitely one that I wish I could of had my pic taken with you. Pooh. Great conference with many great people I’ve read online. So many people to stalk and definitely not enough time. 🙂

  • alexandra


    I remember laughing so hard at EBWW abut the chair story, when you were kind enough to give it up for a senior aged woman. I love EBWW b/c it was and is the ONLY time I got to be with my favorite people so close and personally. It’s a terrific even. So sorry I had to miss it this year.

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