I volunteered to watch a scary movie with my husband the other night. I hate scary movies. I haven’t cared for them since seeing Amityville Horror at the tender age of EIGHT (thanks, Aunt Connie). I can’t even watch 48 hours when I’m in the house alone.

But, my husband said if I’d watch Jeepers Creepers with him we would turn the lights out and there would be snuggling and air-popped popcorn, so I had that going for me. If there had been Raisinets, I would have submitted to a double-feature. He likes me because I’m easy.

So we settled in and went in search of Jeepers Creepers, which we couldn’t find even though both of us had seen it listed on HBO, or Netflix, or somewhere. This left us with surprisingly few options given we were just days away from Halloween. Get your act together, cable. What good are you if you can’t make a women pee her pants with fear?

After scrolling through the selections, we stumbled across Children of the Corn. I had never seen it, so it seemed a good choice. You can’t go wrong with Stephen King, right? Wrong.

The acting! The music! The special effects! The 80s!

I could make a better movie with my iPhone and my dogs playing the lead roles. I mean, honestly, it didn’t even turn me off of running between rows of corn, which I’m pretty sure will never happen, but if it were to happen I should be terrified, which I wouldn’t be. So, if you see me running between rows of corn, you’ll know why I’m not scared.

Now I feel like I need to watch more horror movies, because maybe they aren’t scary at all and I’ve been missing the chance to have a good laugh. Next up: Leprechaun in the Hood.

leprechaun

    Comments

  • Amie


    Cabin Fever ranks at the top of my list of horror movies so bad they’re funny (“PANCAKES!” C’mon, Eli Roth!). And while I also was scarred at a young age by Amityville Horror, I LOVE a truly scary movie.

  • Melisa


    I like the popcorn and snuggling part, not as much the horror.

    You should add “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”, though, if you like campy cheese with your horror.

  • Jenny


    I don’t like to be startled, and gore really bothers me, so I’m not a big fan of the horror genre, AND YET, I enjoy the crap out of corny laughs. Thank goodness for kids these days and their ability to create gifs so I can skip the worst of it and get right to the cheese.

  • Rita Arens


    My sister made me watch PARANORMAL ACTIVITY last weekend and it was so dumb. She swears the other two were better. I like creepy way better than gory, so I won’t even watch THE WALKING DEAD but I love THE TWILIGHT ZONE. I’ve had a craving lately to find THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT again.

    • Momo Fali


      We sat down to watch Blair Witch Project (it’s on Netflix) with the 15 year old last week, but didn’t get the chance. It’s definitely on my list to watch again – mostly because I don’t have any camping trips planned!

  • Shannon


    I am not a scary movie fan either, but I would like to watch Birds again because i have a feeling I would have the same reaction that you did here. And then maybe I wouldn’t freak out when we go into those bird cages at the zoo.

    • Momo Fali


      Yes! Exactly! But, I’m still not going to watch Psycho, because I like taking showers.

  • Leigh Ann


    We saw the remake of the Amityville Horror. I cannot handle that stuff, Ryan Reynolds or no Ryan Reynolds.

    And I’m always surprised at how most of Stephen King’s novels aren’t made into good movies, mostly miniseries and B-movies. Well, there was Pet Cemetery years ago to fan my Edward Furlong crush.

  • alexandra


    I hate scary movies.

    My high school boyfriend loved them so much, so I had to go along on our dates. But I am still scarred from my two years with him: Carrie, Firestarter, the exorcist. I MEAN… why??? WHY would I choose to have and feel the feelings I already have every day in real life JUST LIVING.

  • Skye


    “I could make a better movie with my iPhone and my dogs playing the lead roles.” I’d pay to see that!

  • Anna


    I hate scary movies as well and couldn’t agree more with your 48 hour comment – nightmares for days. Regardless of how silly some horror movies are, I still can’t handle it. #lame

  • Toni


    Hmmmm,

    I’ve been scared of scary movies since…well..a very long time. Maybe I’ll try one too! Happy Halloween! XO

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