Posts Filed Under Family Life

Ouch. Conversations With a 15 Year Old.

posted by Momo Fali on March 27, 2014

One of the best things about having a 15 year old daughter is the way she keeps my ego in check. She’s very much like her autistic brother in the honesty department and between the two of them, I find myself mostly talking to the dog because at least she wags her tail in my direction.

Here are some recent conversations with my daughter:

“Mom, are you wearing eyeshadow?”

“No, why?”

“Because your eyelids are purple.”

*

“What’s for dinner?”

“Pork and rice.”"

“Oh. Is it good rice or is it your rice?”

*

“Mom, your car smells like the elephant house at the zoo.”

*

So, there you have it. I’m tired, I’m a lousy cook and my car needs to be cleaned. I won’t even tell you what she thinks of my new shoes.

Well, They are Pretty Frightful

posted by Momo Fali on January 29, 2014

As my 15 year old daughter came out of the bathroom last night, her 11 year old brother was waiting outside the door. When she entered the hallway, he jumped toward her with a loud, “BOO!” and scared the daylights out of her. I laughed. Mostly because she does her fair share of frightening people around here. Paybacks, dear. Paybacks.

I saw everything from where I was in my bedroom so I gave my son a thumbs-up and said, “Good job! You got her, but you’d better be careful because Dad scared me in that exact same spot when I came out of the bathroom one time and I almost pushed him down the stairs.”

He stared at me. “Really?”

I said, “Yes, really. I didn’t do it on purpose. It was just a reflex.”

And, the hearing impaired kid who suffered with belchy acid reflux for years said, “Ohhhh, I get it! So you burped and it almost knocked him down the stairs!”

He Gets That From You

posted by Momo Fali on January 14, 2014

Last week my son got upset by something he had seen on television. He was sitting with both of us, completely supervised, but it was a movie scene which was a little too violent for his special needs brain to wrap itself around. Thanks a lot, Gollum.

My husband kept playing the stereotypical man card saying things like, “You’re fine! Go to bed.” I, on the other hand, hugged my boy, wiped his tears, and explained why we thought he’d be able to handle watching it (even though *cough* I knew he wouldn’t) and then we discussed, at length, the difference between traditional animation and computer animation.

At the end of the night, he put his 50 lb. body on my lap and said, “Dad says I got upset because I have too much of you in me, but I’m glad I do because you care.” I told him that he has plenty of his father in him and that Dad does care, but doesn’t know how to show it. Then I called a therapist for my husband. Not really, but I thought about it.

A couple of days later, my son and I were driving when we saw a stray dog. I stopped my car to help, but someone came out of a nearby apartment and took over the rescue operation. As we drove away, my son piped up from the back seat, “I’m kind of glad we didn’t have to help that dog.”

“Why, buddy?”

He replied, “Well, I can say this because it’s just you and me, right? I thought it was kind of ugly because it was one of those dogs whose tail stands up in the air and you can see its butthole.”

I laughed, “You sound like your dad!”

Excitedly, he said, “I do? I guess I do have him in me after all!”

Hey, 2014. I Want a Do Over.

posted by Momo Fali on January 6, 2014

I didn’t want to do it.

I had New Year’s week off and I promised my kids I wouldn’t turn on my computer. We were going to do fun stuff, I was going to go to the gym every day, we were going to sleep in, catch up on everything that has fallen behind, and start 2014 off with a clean slate. I was going to roll it in with positivity and light.

Pffft.

Instead, on my daughter’s 15th birthday, December 29th, I started to feel not great. I was already not great, but this was especially not great. If you’re keeping track, my vacation started on December 30th.

I won’t go into how I spent four days freezing cold despite layer upon layer of clothes and blankets and constant ingestion of herbal tea. I won’t tell you how I could barely move from room to room without having to sit down and catch my breath, how I still cough so hard I vomit, or that I’m in a whole lot of pain from a combination of bronchitis and pleurisy (with a sinus infection thrown in for good measure). Wait, I guess I just told you.

We’re now six days into this year – so 2014, that’s how we gonna do?

Oh, wait. You had to throw in a polar vortex. It’s like Day After Tomorrow in my front yard and I’ve spent less than TWO hours outside of my house in the last SEVEN days. You’re going to make sure I make it eight, eh? If you were a Sooner and I was wearing boots, I’d dive-bomb you and start kicking. You and I are going to roll. Just not yet because I can’t breathe, but when I can …

What I want is some positivity and light. I want a fresh start and not this hacking cough, no sleep, and kids who can’t even sit on the couch next to their sick mother. I want changes that I can’t make when I’m lying in bed.

I want my 2014 back. One way or another I will get it, and this revenge is going to be so, so sweet.