If you’re ever bored and want to have some fun, follow your friends to a bar where they’re having a mini class-reunion and pretend you graduated with everyone there.
The reaction from people trying to place you is classic.
Sure, it isn’t real nice, but it’s funny. Also, if it’s Saturday night in Ohio, that’s about as exciting as it gets. And, you never know how many of your “classmates” will offer to buy you a drink.
Well, I tried. After friends and family left last night, I took my laptop to bed and at 11:48pm I started typing my Day 18 blog post. Then I promptly fell asleep.
I woke up after midnight to a screen that looked a lot like this:
Hadddddddddddd a sssssssssssssssssssudodr tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Which, clearly, says, “Had a super time…”
Which, clearly, was to be completed with, “…tonight.”
Because, good friends, family, Christmas music, margaritas, wine and beer will tend to make you have a good time. Nothing says “early Christmas open house” quite like tequila.
And, though the margaritas may be the reason I stuttered through a post draft, I prefer to think I was exhausted from all the laughter.
Roughly 11 years ago, my friend Bean and I found each other. The details of our early friendship are long and sordid and involve way more than anyone, other than the two of us, would find amusing. Just know that we had known each other for years, yet barely acknowledged one another, then one night, in the light of a full moon, we bonded over a single Zeppelin tune.
Okay, I don’t know if that moon thing is true, but the way we connected…my mind sees it that way And, the Zeppelin thing? Totally happened.
I was at a point in my life, with a young daughter, where I was looking for friends whom I truly respected and I felt like that about her. So, a few months later, I sat down to discuss being friends with her. I ASKED her to be my best friend like it was a business transaction. Weird, right? Only, it wasn’t. Nothing has ever been weird with us.
We used to talk. A lot. Every day, actually. We were pregnant for our sons at the same time…due just three weeks apart. And, when mine was born seven weeks early, she listened as I cried over what was happening to him. She heard me as I wept over not knowing what the future would bring. She comforted me, and when she couldn’t comfort me, she would just quietly BE THERE.
Her son was born nine weeks later with two collapsed lungs. Was I there for her? Not like she was for me. I had a nine week old, very sick baby. Did she understand? Of course she did. She has always understood.
She is always there for me. I love her a lot. Through every bit of the ups and downs of having a special-needs, medically-fragile child, she has been a rock.
Almost three weeks ago, her son came down with…something. Fever, vomiting, cramps and other symptoms that made it seem, at first, to be a run-of-the-mill virus. But, it didn’t go away. He kept getting worse.
A few nights ago, he was admitted to the hospital and we have come to find out that it’s not just a virus. This boy who was a typical, active, healthy nine year old just a few weeks ago, is now fighting a battle that no one saw coming. Just like that, my best friend has joined me in the ranks of being the parent of a child with medical problems.
And, now it’s my turn to be what she has always been. It’s my turn to hold her hand, and listen, and comfort her and quietly BE THERE.
I kind of hate her for giving me such big shoes to fill.
A few weeks ago, I came face to face with a woman who I thought would hate me. Her name is Katherine.
We were both nominated for what I can only describe as the blogging equivalent of the Oscars. I won’t get in to how much of an honor it is to be chosen for Voices of the Year, because if you’re not a blogger then you won’t understand. My mom is scratching her head right now. I don’t have to go into details, because that isn’t what matters. Just know it’s a big deal.
So, Katherine and I were both nominated and we tied for People’s Choice. I don’t know how the decision was made that I would end up reading my winning post in front of a huge audience, while she was simply mentioned as a finalist, but that’s what happened.
Photo from www.walkingwithscissors.com
I felt a lot of guilt over that tie.
I was worried that Katherine would think there was favoritism involved or that I didn’t deserve to be on the stage. Clearly, her post resonated with the community as well and I’m sure she wondered why she didn’t get to share it.
But, when I saw Katherine, I was greeted with a warm hug and a “Congratulations!”. It wasn’t disingenuous, it wasn’t contrived and at the reception following my reading she grabbed my shoulders and shook me a little when she said, “There is no doubt that your post was meant to be read. You did great!”
She is a class act. She handled the entire situation with grace and didn’t judge me or cry favoritism. She was accepting, understanding and I will forever call her my friend.
I can’t say that I would have been as kind as Katherine. I would like to hope so. I think I would be gracious, but I really don’t know.
Maybe I would have been catty. Maybe I would have appraised the situation with virulence and talked behind Katherine’s back and said she didn’t deserve it. Maybe I would have said that my post was better than hers.
I am nothing if not flawed.
There is a huge lesson to be learned here; which is that bitterness and jealousy is good for no one. If the tables had been turned and I was in Katherine’s situation and hadn’t handled it the way she did, I would have missed out on a friendship with a strong woman, brilliant writer and really good person.
And, instead of tying for the win, I would have completely lost out.
Follow
Email
Follow