In the seventh grade, I was in a stage production of Oliver! I acted in the bar scene, where I pumped a beer stein back and forth while singing, “Oom Pa Pa” with an ensemble. That is where they put you when you can’t sing; they make you be part of a group and pretend you’re drunk.

An added bonus? I played a boy. This should not be a surprise, because I was a 5′ 9″ twelve year old. I filled in whenever height was necessary. Need a fifth person for a pick-up game? Ask Momo! Even if she just stands there, we’ll have enough for a team!

I suppose you could say that Oliver! is where my food career started. “Please sir, may I have some more?” Also, my beer career. Though I gave up knickers, knee socks and vests long ago, the rest of my stage debut stuck. Right to my thighs.

Last weekend, while in Seattle for the BlogHer Food Conference, I heard over and over how food is part of who we are and the stories we tell. Through pain, laughter, anger and joy, food is always there. No matter where we go and what we do, it is a constant presence in our lives. Again, just ask my thighs.

You can’t have a party without food; you can’t have a wake either. What is a movie without popcorn, a baseball game without peanuts, a wedding without a cake or a cookout without potato salad? It’s just a boring, old, regular day, that’s what.

For instance, I can’t think of my grandma without smelling her spaghetti sauce. Though, it was never accompanied by spaghetti, always rigatoni, and she called the noodles “sewer pipes.” That’s right. Sewer pipes. Mmm.

That food memory is, hands-down, my favorite. Though, there are so many others. So. Very. Many. Picking mulberries fresh from the tree is right up there, as was watching my mom prepare the food for my sister’s wedding reception.

There are bad ones too; like when my cousins would make me eat a spoonful of peanut butter, relish and cocoa powder in a game of Spoons-Meets-Truth-or-Dare. *shudder*

Now I eat things like tofu which, apparently, makes other people shudder.

Whether your food memories make you queasy or make you smile, I want to know what they are. Tell me, boys and girls, what food takes you back to a place and time, and why? What is the single culinary delight, kitchen accessory or truth-or-dare moment that never fails to stir something in you? Let’s sit awhile and listen to each others’ stories.

I’ll bring the beer stein.

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I have had a lot of people asking me how the vegan “thing” is going, so I thought it was time for an update. I started this animal-free journey back in February at the suggestion of my doctor and a friend of mine named, High Cholesterol. I have not had any animal products since Valentine’s Day when we went out for seafood!

Well, that’s not exactly true.

I did have some egg whites on Mother’s Day when my kids made my breakfast, and there was a nibble of beef at that Mexican restaurant when my husband said, “Just take one bite” which I did, and then he said, “Don’t you think it tastes funny?”

But, other than that, unless I mistakenly ate something of which I was not aware (I’m talking to you, Ambien), I haven’t strayed. Why? Because my doctor said so, and you know what? My doctor was right.

In three months, my cholesterol dropped close to 170 points. For you people who are young enough to not understand that, I will just say that’s like, totally, a lot.

That covers the question I get most often; which is, “Is it working?” Yes. Yes, it is.

The next most frequent question is, “What the heck do you eat?” It may surprise you, but you can actually eat a lot. If it comes from the ground, it’s fair game (so to speak).

Of course, while you’re eating, some people will tell you that you are crazy and that what you’re doing isn’t normal, but I suppose that’s based on perception. It has NEVER been normal to me that we drink breastmilk from an animal and said breastmilk was designed for the health and growth OF A CALF. So, vegan isn’t abnormal in my mind. Just sayin’. Man, I love italics.

Without further ado, here is a peek into the mysterious diet of a vegan:

Breakfast: Cereal w/ soy, almond or coconut milk, oatmeal, fresh fruit, or (GASP!) pancakes or waffles that are made vegan-style with REAL maple syrup. YUM.

Lunch: Tortilla with brown-rice and beans, salad loaded with veggies, or (GASP!) a PB&J. Yes, I said it. If I really, really want to, I can even stuff it with potato chips like I did when I was a kid. On the go? A banana or Larabar (buy these for your kids instead of granola bars, the kind I get have four ingredients; cashews, dates, chocolate chips and sea salt) (Hint: Target sells ’em cheap.)

Dinner: I am downright addicted to these noodles (I make them with whole-wheat spaghetti, throw in onions and mushrooms and then steak for my husband…yes, steak…I’m not anti-meat, my blood is), baked potato or sweet potato, my neighbor’s fabulous pot-pie, pizza with whole-wheat crust, lots of sauce, covered with artichokes, mushrooms, olives and peppers (just no cheese), stir-fry with brown rice, veggies and bean curd, or spaghetti with tomato sauce. I also have an amazing recipe for chili-mac that tastes just like chili. JUST LIKE CHILI, I SAID.

Dessert: My daughter makes amazing vegan pumpkin bread, and I can eat fresh fruit or sorbetto (in which I like to toss a handful of dairy-free chocolate chips). And, there may or may not be a vegan bakery down the street from me that makes chocolate chip cookies that are DEE-LIGHT-FUL. Also, OREOs. They are vegan. Yes, they are.

Also, and this is a big deal, I can still drink beer and eat peanuts. Take that, Major League Baseball.

Overall, I am less tired and bloated and my heart is a lot less angry with me. I have heard that vegans lose weight, but before you go expecting it of me, please see that beer and peanuts thing. I have lost 13 pounds, but this is not nearly enough. *steps away from the hummus*

So, there you have it. Changing my diet hasn’t been a big deal and it has resulted in excellent health benefits. Have I wanted a cheeseburger? Yes, but only for a minute.

And, if veggie burgers were readily available at Wendy’s I wouldn’t have craved one at all.

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No, not that kind of coming out! If there is anything to be gleaned from watching Josh Duhamel movies, it is that I am completely heterosexual. Okay, that’s probably the only thing to be gleaned from watching Josh Duhamel movies. I digress.

Almost a year ago, I had some routine blood-work done that showed my “bad” cholesterol was in the 260’s. For all of you 20-something readers, that’s high. Also, it’s been nice having you read my blog.

Truth be told, I was eating horribly; lots of fried, high-fat food and hardly any fruits or vegetables. I thought I could bring the numbers down by changing my diet. When my doctor asked, “What are we going to do about this cholesterol?”

I said, “I’m going to lose some weight!”

I don’t know if you know this, but you can’t just say, “I’m going to lose some weight” and have the weight come off. I’m sorry to break that to you. As a matter of fact, if you take a full-time job that has you sitting at your desk for long hours and working a lot of overtime, you will actually gain weight. Yep. It’s true.

Starting last September I really did try to change my diet, and in January I started working out about six times per week. I was making real changes, because the cancer in my family lit a fire under my patootie. I’m 40 now. I use words like “cholesterol” in blog posts. It was time.

When I went back to my doctor for a blood test in early February, I was sure these changes would be reflected in my numbers. Were they ever! My cholesterol went UP to nearly 290. It was awesome to hear that; almost as awesome as jumping off a two-story building and landing on your kneecaps.

My doctor said, “You’re building plaque as we sit here” and gave me two options; either take a statin drug every day, for the rest of my life, or drastically (and without moderation) alter my diet. When I asked him what that meant he said, “You’d have to go vegan.”

As in, no more butter. Ever.

It took me exactly two seconds to agree to try it. I have long said that I could easily be a vegetarian and when I pictured what was happening inside my body, the change was easy. Have I craved a nice, cheesy pizza? Yes. Is the cheesy pizza worth heart disease? No. I also know it isn’t good to drink alcohol while taking statins and if you ask me whether I’d rather give up animal products or beer, well…it’s not really a question at all.

I’m 11 weeks in to this lifestyle change and if my numbers are low enough after my next blood test, I can go off the prescription. Also, if that happens you’ll see me walking around with my arms in the air, like Rocky, for about a week. I’ll be the one yelling, “I WIN!”

Of course, not everyone has to take such drastic measures; I’m just lucky like that. I made my family cheeseburgers last night. Tonight, they’re having pork roast; tomorrow, barbecued chicken. You get the idea.

I, however, eat a lot of this:

So there, I’ve come out with it. Unless I’m miraculously approved to once again become a carnivore, you can refer to me as a vegan. Or, Rocky. Either one.

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