Posts Filed Under Ramblings

Can You Work Amid Clutter?

posted by Momo Fali on November 10, 2014

I woke early this morning; nearly two hours before any other human in the house. I have a very busy day today and needed to get a jump start, but before I could settle in and start to work, I had to declutter my surroundings.

Laundry was thrown into the washer, random papers were removed from the kitchen counter, toys were stored in their rightful place instead of strewn across the coffee table, coats were hung, and headphones were stored. Next, I cut some coupons, filed my son’s progress reports and watered the plants.

If I could run the sweeper without waking anyone, I’d do that too.

It’s not because I work from home, because I felt the same way when I had an office. And, even when I was an Operations Manager for a company that was bursting at the seams with business and whose staff had grown so quickly we didn’t have anywhere to put them; I had to make a desk out of a fax station that gave me just enough room to open a file folder. It looked like chaos, well…it was chaos, but I made it work because there was order.

Working from home makes it more difficult, because I have desk space and family space, but it’s nothing that can’t be solved with a little early rising. Now, and only now, can I start my work.

Right after I empty the bathroom trash cans.

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Changes

posted by Momo Fali on November 4, 2014

I think there are certain ways that people are always themselves, but I do think people change. -Mike White

I’m sure you’ve heard that you should never try to change someone, but what if that person used to be loving and kind and has changed into a destructive jerk? Shouldn’t you try to change them back to who they once were?

Yes, you should, and here’s why.

I am that person. Most of you don’t know it, but I lost control of my priorities and became a distant, grumpy, tired, shell of a person. Not all the time, unless you were fortunate enough to be one of the people who really love me; then you had meanest Momo every day.

My husband tried to tell me, but I thought it was impossible to shift my priorities from where they were; work, kids (which encompasses driving, sports, cooking, homework, doctors and more), house, laundry, blog, husband. Lucky guy, that one.

But, a couple of months ago I had a breakthrough, or what a therapist told me was “an awakening.”

Even though I thought there was NO WAY I could give any more of myself, in any capacity, I intentionally shifted my priorities. INTENTION being the key component of what I’m about to tell you, so make sure you see that word and soak it in.

I-N-T-E-N-T-I-O-N.

I intentionally made changes.

Work was still my #1 priority, but only during working hours and occasional overtime, like yesterday. During non-working hours, my husband went into the #1 slot, then kids, house, laundry and blog.

Sometimes laundry fell into the last slot, which is why we ran out of underwear, but I never waivered from keeping everything else in its rightful place. And, you know what? It wasn’t even that hard.

As a matter of fact, I started enjoying the heck out of my husband again and that carried over into how I interact with my children. I became nicer. Calmer. More peaceful.

Okay, that last one is a total lie. I’ve been grinding my teeth like crazy and I’ve HAD to start running again out of mental necessity, but I’m not taking out my frustrations on the people I care about more than anything.

I feel like my old self again. I uncovered the person who was buried under a pile of resentment, anger, jealousy and ego.

And, that change feels really good.

I volunteered to watch a scary movie with my husband the other night. I hate scary movies. I haven’t cared for them since seeing Amityville Horror at the tender age of EIGHT (thanks, Aunt Connie). I can’t even watch 48 hours when I’m in the house alone.

But, my husband said if I’d watch Jeepers Creepers with him we would turn the lights out and there would be snuggling and air-popped popcorn, so I had that going for me. If there had been Raisinets, I would have submitted to a double-feature. He likes me because I’m easy.

So we settled in and went in search of Jeepers Creepers, which we couldn’t find even though both of us had seen it listed on HBO, or Netflix, or somewhere. This left us with surprisingly few options given we were just days away from Halloween. Get your act together, cable. What good are you if you can’t make a women pee her pants with fear?

After scrolling through the selections, we stumbled across Children of the Corn. I had never seen it, so it seemed a good choice. You can’t go wrong with Stephen King, right? Wrong.

The acting! The music! The special effects! The 80s!

I could make a better movie with my iPhone and my dogs playing the lead roles. I mean, honestly, it didn’t even turn me off of running between rows of corn, which I’m pretty sure will never happen, but if it were to happen I should be terrified, which I wouldn’t be. So, if you see me running between rows of corn, you’ll know why I’m not scared.

Now I feel like I need to watch more horror movies, because maybe they aren’t scary at all and I’ve been missing the chance to have a good laugh. Next up: Leprechaun in the Hood.

leprechaun

A Few of My Favorite Things

posted by Momo Fali on October 8, 2014

Do you ever think about the things that make you truly happy? If you don’t, you should. When you’re searching for peace, you think of them a lot. Trust me, I know.

I’ll give Maria raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, but she loses me at bright copper kettles. I mean, you’d REALLY have to love tea. I like tea, but I don’t care how the water gets boiled. Plus, I think you have to polish copper and I hate chores.

rose

So, what does make me happy – or, rather, peaceful? In no particular order:

1. Sunshine.

2. My husband touching my face or hair. The touch of a cheek or gently holding the nape of a neck is intimate and lovely.

3. A clear, starry sky. For making wishes.

4. Intense, exhausting workouts. I don’t look happy while I’m doing them and I complain A LOT, but pulling a rope with a 400 lb. tire attached to the other end makes me feel strong, powerful and confident even though my face is purple and I’m dripping with sweat.

5. Watching my kids try anything. A new food, a new experience, a new activity; seeing them attempt something makes them achievers in my eyes, even if they fail.

6. Cold beer. Duh.

7. The beach. Sand between my toes, the sound of the waves, and saltwater making my hair look pretty without any effort – I’ll take that ALL DAY LONG. Combined with #1, #5 and #6? Heaven.

8. A clean house. I never get this one. Never.

9. A good movie. Throw in Milk Duds and it’s even better.

10. Puppies, good friends, flowers, board games, slow-dancing, campfires, music, and snuggling. Not all at once, but I didn’t want this list to get too long.

While things have seemed kind of bleak lately, I’m finding it helpful to come back to this list to seek out, and give myself, the things I can. Thankfully, that hasn’t resulted in too many Milk Duds, but don’t even come near me without expecting a snuggle.

What would your list look like? What are your favorite things?