Did you ever notice how many things no one tells you about parenting before you have kids? I’m not talking about how you’ll never sleep again. Plenty of people told me that. No, I mean the little things. For instance, no one ever told me…

That I would keep empty water bottles in my car for my son to pee in when we’re on the road.

That my longest fingernail would become the “booger-picker-outer”, and if that didn’t work, I’d retrieve boogers with a toothpick.

That I would wipe snot off my son’s face with a leaf.

That kids like to hide things around the house and you won’t find them for a long, long time. Things like cups full of milk, dirty underwear, and sandwiches.

That it’s necessary to cheat at Chutes and Ladders, or else the game goes on forever.

That poop becomes hard and crusty when removed from a diaper and smeared onto a coffee table.

That I would actually say things like, “You’re not allowed to stick your finger in the dog’s butt” or “You can’t drink water out of the toilet”.

Or, that I would have to call poison control, because my daughter would drink the toilet water anyway.

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Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. For a limited time, just about anything your heart desires comes in pink. A Kitchenaid Mixer, a t-shirt, even a hammer. But, if you’re running low on cash, The Breast Cancer Site has made it easy to help. Simply by going to their site and pushing the “Click Here to Give” button, you can help fund free mammograms for low-income, inner-city and minority women.

Do it for your mothers, your sisters, your aunts, your cousins, your friends. It only takes a couple of seconds…and it’s FREE! Every click counts, and if you know someone who has fought a battle with breast cancer, you know how important early detection can be.

Click here to help save a life!

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Yesterday, my son climbed on my lap, held my face in his hands and said, “You are so, so, so, so pretty”. This was no ordinary compliment, considering it came from the kid who is usually commenting on someone’s most unattractive qualities.

It was also remarkable because I don’t feel pretty much these days. Granted, there was a time when I looked all right. But, what once was gangly is now pudgy, what was firm is now wrinkled, what was straight is now slouched, and what was smooth is now scarred. I work out, I take my vitamins, I try to eat right, I’ve even been sleeping better, but I will never have what I once did.

I’m at an age where a minute in the sun seems to add a new wrinkle, and when my dermatologist gets ahold of me, she chops moles off like she’s a butcher…always leaving mangled marks along the way. I rarely feel comfortable leaving the house without make-up, and more often than not, I’ll don a hat and sunglasses before taking the kids to school.

My hair never looks quite right, and clothes don’t fit like they used to. My bra deserves overtime pay for all the work it has to do. I’m a Mom, I’m nearing 40, I don’t have the time or energy it takes to make myself look attractive.

But, in the eyes of my five year old, I’m pretty…and that’s good enough for me.

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“Michael Scott’s Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Fun Run Race for the Cure. This is Pam.”

“You spend your whole life trying to get people to like you, and then you run over one person with your car and it’s not even one of the popular ones…and everyone gets on your case.”

“Well, if you’re going to reduce my identity to my religion, then I’m Sikh. But, I also like hip-hop and NPR. And, I’m restoring a 1967 Corvette in my spare time.”

“I’m not superstitious, but I’m a little stitious.”

“Well, you left your TV on…and your cat is dead.”

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