I was going to write a post tonight about how my mom told my 10 year old son that she has a lot of bumps and bruises and he asked, “Why?”

She said, “Because I’m a klutz.”

Then he said, “Oh, I thought it was because you’re old … and a klutz.”

But, when I logged in to start writing, I noted the date. I started blogging here on June 26, 2007. It’s my five-year blogoversary!

A lot has changed since then. A whole lot. Mostly, that my husband thought blogging was a huge waste of time and now HE’S ALL FOR IT. Of all the things I’ve been right about, I’m glad it was blogging. Okay, it’s the only thing I’ve been right about, but I should get extra credit for it!

I have told countless stories like the one up there, because OHBOY does my son like to hurl insults. Of course, now that he’s ten instead of five, I feel like I need to tell people it’s because of his sub-threshold autism, and not just because he’s rotten. Though, he is that too. He’s still about the same size as he was five years ago, but not much else has changed.

My daughter has gone from eight to thirteen. That’s, like, a whole lifetime. *eye roll* She’ll be going to college in five years. SHUT UP! Don’t say that! Oh, I said that? Well, take note people, THAT’S how fast it goes. Blink and your kids are grown. Also, when you’re 41 years old instead of 36, you blink and you sprout a gray chin hair.

More than anything I want to say thank you to the most amazing, fabulous, delightful, kind, funny, faithful readers and commenters in the blogosphere. You are good people.

If I’m really lucky, you’ll still be around when I’m old and klutzy.

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A few days ago, we pulled the kids out of school, piled into a car with some friends and drove to an amusement park where we spent the day going in loops and curves, laughing, and preparing ourselves for the oh-so-wonderful-post-amusement-park-shampoo-and-shower.

We had so much fun, minus the few minutes I spent on the swings with my son, where I had my eyes tightly shut and spent the entire time trying to distract myself by counting. Not to any particular number, mind you, but just counting because OHMYGOODNESS the spinning.

Of course, roller coasters and swings aren’t the only attractions. If you are an amusement park aficionado, you know that the rides are great, but equally enjoyable is the people-watching. For instance, the woman who won our prize for “Best Outfit” was wearing very tiny, cut-off shorts and a hoodie that stopped just under her breasts; her belly free to hang out from in between.

Because my ten year old son often says whatever is on his mind, we have been attempting to show him how to filter his words. I have gone so far as to draw a brain and write words that are allowed to be in there, but that shouldn’t come out of his mouth.

And, apparently, the adults in our group weren’t the only ones who were people-watching at the amusement park, because when we pulled into our driveway at the end of the day, my son said, “Mom, I did a REALLY good job of keeping my thoughts inside my head today!”

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A few days ago, my husband, the kids and I were watching an MSNBC show called, “My Kid Would Never Do That.” The show has hidden cameras and tempts kids with things like a stranger who pulls up in an ice cream truck and offers them a Drumstick and a tour of the ice cream truck. I’m 40 and I would probably still fall for that.

The episode we were watching was focused on peer pressure and cheating on a test. There was a group of kids, with two actors planted among them, who kept urging the non-actors to look up answers on smartphones or, conveniently, on the answer sheet which was attached to the test. I’m 40 and I would probably…oh, you get the picture.

As any parents would, we used this as an opportunity to discuss honesty with our kids. I asked my nine year old what he would do in the same situation. He said, “I would look around for cameras and if I saw them, then I wouldn’t cheat.”

I appreciated his honesty, but this wasn’t the answer I was going for.

We spent some time discussing right and wrong and why it’s important to never lie. I explained that once someone lies to you, you have a hard time ever trusting them again.

Apparently, he got it.

This morning he was singing to me. That’s right, he occasionally breaks into song. Sometimes it’s Broadway, sometimes it’s Busta Rhymes. Same difference. So, this morning he was singing, “You are the most beautiful mom! Yes, you are the most beautiful mom!”

Then he suddenly stopped and said, “Oh, wait” and when he continued serenading me, he had new lyrics.

As he held his hands against his heart to show me that he meant it sincerely, he said, “I should have sang, you are the best mom! Yes, you are the best mom.”

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I have a friend who told me that her nine year old son’s recent growth spurt has her mourning the loss of her little boy. After she mentioned it, I picked up my glass (the one that was sitting there half-full) and I realized that one of the benefits of having a child who is almost ten, but who is the size of a kindergartner, is that he still fits in my lap.

Yesterday morning, my son climbed into a chair with me and sprawled out across my legs. While I sipped coffee and scanned the newspaper, he reclined his head against my shoulder and read the comics. We sat like that for a while. I don’t know how long he had been staring up at me when I finally noticed.

I smiled and gave him a kiss on the top of his head and asked, “Are you finished with the comics?”

He nodded and said, “Yeah.”

Then I looked in to my coffee cup and saw it was half-empty as he remarked, “Oh, and Mom? You have really big nostrils.”

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