In the seventh grade, I was in a stage production of Oliver! I acted in the bar scene, where I pumped a beer stein back and forth while singing, “Oom Pa Pa” with an ensemble. That is where they put you when you can’t sing; they make you be part of a group and pretend you’re drunk.

An added bonus? I played a boy. This should not be a surprise, because I was a 5′ 9″ twelve year old. I filled in whenever height was necessary. Need a fifth person for a pick-up game? Ask Momo! Even if she just stands there, we’ll have enough for a team!

I suppose you could say that Oliver! is where my food career started. “Please sir, may I have some more?” Also, my beer career. Though I gave up knickers, knee socks and vests long ago, the rest of my stage debut stuck. Right to my thighs.

Last weekend, while in Seattle for the BlogHer Food Conference, I heard over and over how food is part of who we are and the stories we tell. Through pain, laughter, anger and joy, food is always there. No matter where we go and what we do, it is a constant presence in our lives. Again, just ask my thighs.

You can’t have a party without food; you can’t have a wake either. What is a movie without popcorn, a baseball game without peanuts, a wedding without a cake or a cookout without potato salad? It’s just a boring, old, regular day, that’s what.

For instance, I can’t think of my grandma without smelling her spaghetti sauce. Though, it was never accompanied by spaghetti, always rigatoni, and she called the noodles “sewer pipes.” That’s right. Sewer pipes. Mmm.

That food memory is, hands-down, my favorite. Though, there are so many others. So. Very. Many. Picking mulberries fresh from the tree is right up there, as was watching my mom prepare the food for my sister’s wedding reception.

There are bad ones too; like when my cousins would make me eat a spoonful of peanut butter, relish and cocoa powder in a game of Spoons-Meets-Truth-or-Dare. *shudder*

Now I eat things like tofu which, apparently, makes other people shudder.

Whether your food memories make you queasy or make you smile, I want to know what they are. Tell me, boys and girls, what food takes you back to a place and time, and why? What is the single culinary delight, kitchen accessory or truth-or-dare moment that never fails to stir something in you? Let’s sit awhile and listen to each others’ stories.

I’ll bring the beer stein.

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My nine year old son is good at making fast-friends, especially with adult women who tend to think he’s younger than he is. His personality combined with the stature of a five year old give off an aura of charm and vulnerability that men three times his age wish they could evoke.

He’s slick, I tell you. I took him to Urgent Care on Saturday and in under 30 minutes he had been given three different frozen treats by three different nurses and then he got one for the road. He worked the rooms so well they were practically throwing Flavor-Ice at him

So, I have to admit that his behavior was shocking when Ree Drummond, also known as The Pioneer Woman, came to town last week. If you don’t know Ree, she is a NY Times best-selling author, host of her own Food Network show, amazing photographer, home-schooler and blogger. She’s also smart, funny, pretty, generous and kind. I hate her a little bit.

Oh, okay…that’s not true. I hate her a lot. Oh, okay…that’s not true either. I love her! And. So. Does. My. Kid.

Although I assured my son that she is a friend of mine and a regular person through-and-through, when I told him she was in town for a book signing and he was going to get a chance to meet her, he got a little star-struck.

Honestly, I should have known. He loves Ree’s Food Network show so much that he actually talks to her as if she is in the corner of our living room. He smiles at the screen, he giggles, he swoons. On the day of their meeting, he came out of school yelling about going to see her and said that he was going to run from the car and give her a hug. When we arrived at the book store, he hurried to the back room where she was waiting…

And, then he hid behind my leg.

He slowly crept out, but wouldn’t dare look at her. I don’t know if he was smitten or scared, because the only other time I’ve seen him look like this was on a first grade field trip to the zoo when his teacher told him not to make eye contact with the gorillas.

But, Ree knew how to bring out the flirt in him. “Aw shucks, Ree!”

When he finally decided that he was ready for a hug, he prepared for it by creating a decent distance between the two of them, then running and jumping into her arms. That’s my boy. Dramatic much?

I bet if she had Flavor-Ice, she would have been tossing it in his direction.

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The other day, me, my friend Bean and our two families were talking about getting together. We were going to go to Bean’s house.

She said, “If you come over, you need to know that my house is a mess. There is clutter everywhere.”

I assured her, that I completely understood, but I don’t think she believed me. I’m here to tell her that she’s not alone. Here’s why…

This is my dining room table. Also, you should know that we recently ATE at this table while this massive pile sat with us. I had to do a two-armed swoop to push everything to one side, because the only other place to sit is our breakfast nook and that space doesn’t look any better.

Let’s take a closer look, shall we?

1. Lots of socks, because my husband has started doing the laundry and he won’t cart them around like I do. Now, they include one baseball and one softball sock from the games that were played IN JULY.

2. Two first aid kits.

3. Golf balls in a Santa bag.

4. Two mini water bottles.

5. Last week’s clean laundry; some thrown over chairs, some folded, but for goodness sake, NOT PUT AWAY.

6. A coverless book called Magic Eye II.

7. Buried under the book is a stuffed reindeer named Comet.

8. Buried under all of it is a homework assignment. Lucky, for us, it was from three weeks ago.

9. And, the white thing that looks like a tablecloth, is actually the table pad from Thanksgiving dinner.

Stay tuned for next time, when I make Bean feel even better about her house when I post a picture of my kitchen counter!

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Here are a few things to remember when you go to a “Dynamic Duos” costume party as Amy Winehouse and her 10,000 ML bottle of vodka.

1. If you dye your blond hair, black, it will come out gray.

2. A borrowed Snookie wig will help.

3. Not everyone knows that Amy Winehouse died from alcohol poisoning. Actually, pretty much, NO ONE knows that. You may have a lot of explaining to do.

4. If you wrap your husband in posterboard, don’t forget a flap for bathroom breaks, as you may get odd looks at the party when you take a steak knife to his groin.

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