Next Time…the Sports Section

posted by Momo Fali on January 29, 2009

I work at my children’s school as a second grade teacher’s aide. I took the job to earn a little money, but another benefit is being near my six year old son. He is in kindergarten and could function without me there, but there are still things I help him with because the school allows it.

My son gets sick a lot, sometimes with weird bacterial infections and one of those was antibiotic resistant. It seems it takes longer courses of more potent drugs to make his illnesses go away, so in order to keep him as healthy as possible we take some precautions.

He is the only one in his class who keeps hand sanitizer in his cubby, he takes a bottle of water to school instead of using the drinking fountain, and I help him when he has to go to the bathroom.

My son is the size of a three year old, which means that when he has to use the facilities it entails climbing and clambering all over said facilities. Being that elementary school children aren’t the most hygienic, it’s much better for me to hoist him on the toilet in the nurse’s office and make sure he gets a proper hand washing because he can barely reach the sink.

Yesterday, I was leading a group of students downstairs when we ran into my boy in the hallway where he announced to the whole lot of us, “I need to go poop!”

I said, “Well I can’t take you right now, because I can’t leave these students. You’ll have to go by yourself.”

Just then, I looked up and saw the school nurse and asked her if she would help him, which she was happy to do.

After school, we were driving home and I asked him, “Hey, did Mrs. C help you in the bathroom?”

He said, “Yes.”

Knowing he had pooped, I wondered if he had been bold enough to ask her to wipe him, so I further questioned, “Did she just help you wash your hands? What did you ask her to do?”

But instead I found he was bold in a totally guy kind of way when he replied, “I asked her to get me a book.”

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The Sound of Music

posted by Momo Fali on January 27, 2009

I normally don’t touch on anything too deep around here, but I am about to reveal some very troubling information from my past. Really, really bad music choices.

It all started when I was five years old and would lock myself in our bathroom where the acoustics were best. I would take my handy-dandy tape recorder and belt out “The Way We Were”, and my childhood theme song, “Rhinestone Cowboy”. Also, whenever Donny and Marie were on you couldn’t peel me away from the television.

When I was seven, I got an 8-track player. One with a shoulder strap so I could walk down the street, looking cool, while The Village People, Olivia Newton-John, and The Bee Gees blasted from the speaker.

After that, I moved on to Journey, Loverboy, Prince, and Pat Benatar. Wait. I was Pat Benatar. Then Night Ranger, Van Halen, and Bon Jovi.

In high school, I was all over the place. I listened to pop music, like U2, but obscure bands played on the sound-system at my very contemporary, retail sales job and I liked that music too.

This is also when I developed my love for Led Zeppelin, Joni Mitchell, and what my best friend refers to as “hippie music”. My husband calls this my tree-hugger period. Whatever, dude. If that’s the case, I will forever be hugging trees. Trees are groovy and Stephen Stills rules.

My husband is also a Zeppelin fan and he’s more than fond of Metallica, my son likes classical music, and my daughter gets her kicks from country. We have learned to get along. We have learned to appreciate each other’s music. Well, except for my daughter’s taste in country tunes. Unless, of course, it’s “Rhinestone Cowboy.”

Tell me, boys and girls, what do you listen to?

A Weiner and a Hound Dog

posted by Momo Fali on January 26, 2009

Here is the winner of the Photofiddle.com giveaway. Ladies, please don’t be intimidated by a) my manicure or b) my raspy voice. Nails don’t stay pretty when you work with second graders and wash your hands 50 times a day, and the voice is the result of a sinus infection and lungs full of mucus. See how much the hand washing helps?

I asked my son to show you his Elvis impersonation and you will note he stays in character throughout the clip. Well, at least his upper lip does. He is a consummate professional.

Congratulations, Chuck!

They Played Me Like a Fiddle

posted by Momo Fali on January 22, 2009
Thanks to everyone for your concern for my son. He did extremely well, and I’m pretty sure it was because heaven was stormed with prayers on his behalf. Blog readers are awesome.

I have never done a giveaway of any kind on this blog. It’s not because corporate America isn’t beating my door down, because they are. The e-mails are relentless. You don’t know how many tubes of lipstick I have turned down. Not to mention the pain relievers and feminine hygiene products. One question, where are the free shoes?

In all honesty, I have never done a giveaway or a review because that’s not what this is about. This is my creative outlet, not a place to offer up goodies and bribe you to show up. Not that I am above being bribed, because I’ve entered into many a giveaway. And won exactly nothing.

There is also a small matter regarding a certain agreement, with a particular company, who may or may not reside permanently on my sidebar, and who shall remain nameless.


But, last week I realized that the real problem is that these companies have been going about their approach all wrong. If you really want me to talk about your stuff, then kick me where it hurts. Right in the sentiment. Also known as “girl parts”.

So when Photofiddle.com showed me that they could take one of your pictures and turn it into artwork, and that they would let me give away a $50.00 gift certificate in the process? Well, hot diggity! I jumped on board.

One, because I love the idea. Two, because I know what it’s like to have no money. And three, because Valentine’s Day is coming up, and who really ever comes up with an original Valentine’s Day gift? You are all welcome for the awesome idea.

You can take a picture of a pet and have it turned into a watercolor-style, like this…

Or, a picture of your child can be turned into an oil painting-style like this…

Or, a photo from your honeymoon can be changed into impasto-style, like this…

And, there are plenty of other options for you to choose from.

To enter this $50.00 gift certificate giveaway, just leave a comment between now and 6:00 PM EST on Sunday, January 25th. Even if you don’t win, you can get a 15% discount at Photofiddle.com by entering the code mom15 on the shopping cart page in the promotion code box.

Happy Photofiddling, everyone!