I Bet She’ll Get Carded

posted by Momo Fali on September 19, 2008

Our Wii has a program that let’s you play a game to determine your “fitness age”. It will have you participate in a combination of sports, then tell you how old you are. I am usually somewhere around 78.

Last week, my daughter was playing as my six year old son was watching.

As soon as she finished and her brother saw her fitness age on the screen, he exclaimed, “You’re 21! Now you can drink beer!”

Number Two On My List…Don’t Forget Limes

posted by Momo Fali on September 17, 2008

Tomorrow afternoon, I am leaving for my annual girl’s trip, which we refer to as our GGW, or Girl’s Get-Away Weekend. Our husbands call it Girls Gone Wild. Hardly. Last year I got a concussion and we sat around making pot holders.

There is always a lot of planning and organization involved with stepping out of my routine and having my husband step in, but throw in having no electricity for four days…with no end in sight…and you’ll see one Mommy whose head feels like it may pop off.

We have been living in limbo since Sunday, shuttling back and forth between my Mom’s house, 20 miles from here. Thank goodness, there hasn’t been any school. There are no batteries anywhere in town, stations have run out of gas, and when I called around looking for a generator, people laughed at me.

But, our GGW house has power and we’ve spent a small fortune to rent the place…which some of us can’t even afford. Have I mentioned that I’m in the mortgage business? Regardless, this is our one opportunity each year to have a real break, recharge and eat obscene amounts of chocolate.

My husband will be busy while I’m gone, driving the kids around to various activities, all while treating every intersection like a four-way stop.

He will entertain them without the use of TV, Wii, or computer. He will continue to drive 20 minutes, each way, twice a day, to charge a battery in hopes of keeping our fish alive (we’ve only lost one, so far). And, he will have to make due without any cold food or drinks, grocery stores with doors closed to the public, and no ice available within city limits.

But, he will not be the only frazzled person in this family. Today, I have to make lists and schedules, pack my stuff…and somehow find a liquor store that’s open so I can buy my vodka. Some of us have real priorities.

Take A Hike, Ike

posted by Momo Fali on September 15, 2008

I live in Ohio. We do not get hurricanes in Ohio. We get tornados, flash floods, and more than a few people who lose their lives to lightening each year.

But yesterday, Ike showed up for an unexpected visit and he wasn’t a very nice guest.

While we were gone for the afternoon, Ike’s remnant, hurricane-force winds took advantage of our absence and wreaked havoc on our home. He snapped a branch off our 70 foot tall maple tree like a toothpick, which then crashed down on our swing-set, fence, cable wires and electrical line.

We are just one of a half million families in the Buckeye state who may be without power for roughly a week.

We packed up the kids, dog, and all the food we could salvage and drove 20 miles to my Mom’s house. We’ll camp out here, where the kids can get good and spoiled, until things get fixed at home.

On the drive out, it was eerie to see the entire city without power, and every other house with a large limb or an entire tree down in their yard. Roads were closed, shingles were flying, and cars were crushed. I have never seen anything like it.

Despite the hassle, the inevitable death of every fish in our 55 gallon tank, the loss of income because our places of employment are shut down, the wondering if our house will catch fire because there are electrical wires laying on the roof, and the monumental mess we have to clean up…the biggest challenge will be dealing with the fact that my Mom still lives in 1975 and doesn’t have internet access.

I am thankful for so many things right now, but mostly that no one was hurt, that we don’t live in Texas, and that Panera has free Wi-Fi.

Calgon, Take Me Away

posted by Momo Fali on September 12, 2008

A few years ago, my son’s cardiologist told us that he would never be allowed to play contact sports. I had grown accustomed to imagining my boy as the next Tiger Woods (and me being a very rich Mommy), so I was surprised at his last heart check-up when the doctor cleared him to play soccer.

Now, let’s get something straight…I have one tough boy. This kid has had more needles in his veins in six years than most people have their whole lives. But, apparently the hospital is one thing and the soccer field is something else entirely.

At practice last night, after 50 minutes of drills, my kid hit a wall. The first time he complained was when he was playing defense in a scrimmage. He stopped in his tracks and yelled, “Mom! I’m tired.”

I yelled back from the sidelines, “You’re okay! You can hang in there for 10 more minutes!”

Then the second complaint, “Mom! My tummy hurts!”

Again I said, “Come on, buddy! You can do it! Just five more minutes!”

And, he was hanging in there just like I told him to…until, with just two minutes left in the practice, he took a hard-kicked ball right in the ear.

He burst into tears and ran off the field to me. I checked him out, then said, “I know you’re tired, but your ear looks okay. You can do this! When you’re playing on a team, you have to be there for your teammates. They need you. Now get back in there and show them what a big, strong, tough kid you are!”

When it didn’t appear that would convince him…I whispered something in his ear.

He then trotted back to the field for some inspirational words from the coach and one final huddle. They ended the practice by having the team put their hands together as they chanted, “One. Two. Three. TIGERS!”

Then my big, strong, tough boy ran off the field yelling what I thought would stay a secret, “Okay, Mom! Let’s go home so I can get my bubble bath!”