Igpay Atinlay

posted by Momo Fali on July 2, 2007

My eight year old daughter, who prides herself on listening to every word we say even though she’s pretending to watch The Disney Channel, has recently become extremely frustrated to hear her father and I speak in Pig Latin. We went through the spelling-words-out-phase, and when she caught on, we had to move to spelling them backward. When she figured that out, we were in a quandry. What to do when you need to yell to your spouse in the kitchen to hide the last ice cream bar so the kids won’t find it? So, somewhere from back in my husband’s middle school brain file, he pulled out Pig Latin. Of course, we’re getting older and our Pig Latin comes out very slowly as we try to figure out what letter comes second, which now needs to be the first letter of the word. Yesterday, we sounded like a couple of sick cows. “Ooooooday oooooouyay aHntway oootay AAAAAktay UHthay idskay otay UHthay oooooolpay?” That’s, “Do you want to take the kids to the pool?” Of course, we really feel like idiots, when “the” is the hardest word to figure out how to say.

Never mind, that we could’ve walked down the street, talked to each other about going to the pool, then come home, in the time it took to utter that one sentence. The fun of it, is that our daughter can’t figure it out. After we finished our pool discussion, which literally made her stomp her feet in frustration, she turned to me and said, “I’m going to start my own language too! Sand sou sill sever sigure sit sout!”

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From the Mouths of Babes

posted by Momo Fali on June 28, 2007

The gas man just got here to restore our service, and as he knelt down next to our stove, my son greeted him with a warm, “EWWW! He stinks.”

A Comedy of Errors

posted by Momo Fali on June 28, 2007

The other day, we woke up to find trucks parked in front of our house. Big, yellow, heavy-duty trucks. Because our neighbors are having their driveway completely redone, we didn’t think another thing of it…that is, until a backhoe started digging up our front yard. My husband went outside to find there was a gas leak, though no one bothered to tell us. Good thing, considering I probably would’ve wound up in a panic, packed up the two kids and the dog (I would’ve left the fish), and ran from the house. The pipeline workers assured us it was okay to stay, and since they had to shut the gas off to work on the line, I felt pretty safe. That was at Noon, day before yesterday. At 9:30 that night, the gas company finally came out to turn our gas back on. Of course, and I say “of course” because we have the WORST luck of any people I know, when they went into our basement, they found FIVE gas leaks coming from the pipe in our house. Not that I don’t want to know there are five gas leaks in my basement, but we had no control over this. This all started when the backhoe folks showed up that morning. Next thing we know, the gas company tells us we have seven days to fix it or they’re shutting it off. Nice.

Since then, we’ve had two trips by a repairman and three from the gas company. We’ve had gas for approximately 10 hours, most of which was overnight. I do not know how people lived without hot water coming straight from a faucet. My kids have had to take cold-bordering-on-lukewarm baths the past two nights (only bordering-on-lukewarm because there was a little bit of water left in the hot water tank). It’s no wonder women used to wear those big, long, dresses with lots of layers. It was to hide their stench.

In addition, my husband noticed this morning that the pipeline people, who had so delicately torn up our yard, also crushed the drain running from our TWO sump pumps to the street. Those sump pumps run all the time, so we need that drain. The pumps are the result of five different trips made to our house by a waterproofing company to fix our constantly flooding basement. We recently found out that was due to a broken water line in our front yard. We had it replaced a couple of months ago. The flooding caused a mold problem that actually DID send me into a panic and made me pack up the two kids (I left the fish AND the dog) and run from the house. We’re going camping this weekend, and I think I’m going to feel like I’m living in luxury compared to this place.

I can not stress this enough people…buy a brand new house.

Melatonin Rocks!

posted by Momo Fali on June 27, 2007

I have suffered from insomnia since I was pregnant with my daughter. She’ll be nine in December. For a long, long time I suffered with it, mostly because I saw my doctor frequently enough for all my other ailments that I didn’t want to bother him with me not sleeping. I mean, that’s my fault, not his, right? I tried to solve my own problem by looking on-line, where I found St. John’s Wort. I’m sure it works perfectly well for lots of people, but it made me feel like a sloth while my head and heart were racing. Like I was running a marathon and taking a math test at the same time, but I couldn’t lift my arm if I tried. Not a pleasant feeling. I finally talked to my doctor about it, and have tried two different prescription medications, one of which made me crazy. Like, wanting to drive my car into a brick wall crazy. Or, waking up and seeing knives floating around the room crazy. Just plain ca-RAZY, crazy. The other one gave me heart palpitations.

So, after many more sleepless nights of me wanting to drive my fist through my headboard. And, countless repetitions of, “I surrender this God. You can let me sleep”, I went back to the herbal route and tried Melatonin. Melatonin is a hormone produced naturally, in some gland that I can’t spell or pronounce, which controls internal clocks. I’ve been taking half a pill (1.5 milligrams) for a couple of weeks now, and I think it may be working! Now, I still have issues, don’t get me wrong. If my daughter has a bad dream, I’m the one who is up for the rest of the night.