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After that, we’ll do a shot sip some cognac…

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But, then what? There are so many things to see! Where to start?!

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Most likely, I’ll just show her where I live…

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No, I’m at Target a lot, but this is my stinking rich neighbor’s house.

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Though, if Bossy doesn’t come soon, we may be living here…

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…which someone recently redecorated with this lovely dent.

Oh, I just can’t wait! We’ll laugh, and talk, and not talk, and eat soup and snow peas. And, when she leaves I think Bossy will say, “I wouldn’t want to live there, but it’s a lovely place to visit”.

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I have been known to throw the occasional cuss word around. Not cussing for the sake of cussing, but for particular circumstances such as falling down the steps, or dropping a plate, or the many, many times when my daughter was a baby and she would have such explosive bowel movements that we would find brown tar all the way up to her neck.

I do try to keep myself in check though, especially around my kids. I have taken to using words such as, ‘Dang’ and ‘Poo’. They’re tame enough that I think I may have heard them in Disney movies.

I also try very, very hard not to use the word, ‘stupid’. I even try to monitor the shows my kids watch, so there aren’t characters or people calling each other stupid. To me, it’s just a nasty, derogatory word and my five year old son does enough to embarrass me. I don’t need him calling people stupid to boot.

But, last week my husband bought this computer game that was beyond frustrating for me. You have to toss this marble across a gargantuan abyss onto a flat surface. That’s it. But, I either couldn’t get my marble across the abyss, or it would fly through the air right past the flat surface, or it would land on the flat surface only to roll off. I could not get it, and as much as I wanted to let some choice words fly right along with that marble, I didn’t.

Though I did keep saying, over and over, something about the game and the marble being stupid.

Of course, the next time my son got a chance to play, he immediately began to say stuff about the ‘stupid game’ and the ‘stupid marble’. I quickly told him not to say it anymore, that I shouldn’t have said it either, because it’s just not nice.

And now the little rascal is trying to draw it out of me, apparently to get me in trouble with myself. Under the guise of improving his knowledge, he just asked me, “Hey Mom, what rhymes with Cupid?”

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Right around Christmas, my five year old son suddenly became fascinated with death. It started when we were talking about his grandparents and he asked where their parents were. I explained that those were his great-grandparents, and that they had all died and are in heaven now. When he asked why they died, I didn’t want to say some of them had been sick, since we often say we’re sick. So I told him that they died because they were old.

So, it shouldn’t have been any surprise when he pointed at an elderly woman a few days ago and said, “You died! You have white hair and that means you’re old. You died!”

But she was hard of hearing and just gave him a big smile, and now he thinks he’s cheering up retirees by telling them they’ve passed away.

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Oh, wait…not that woman. This woman.

This guy named Jimmy the Greek made some stupid, ignorant comments about black athletes.

Oh, sorry. This is him.

This guy, beat up married this girl.

And, a fellow in a leisure suit was elected to public office.

Iran… …and Iraq were at war. Which is really surprising, since you hardly ever hear about fighting in the middle east.

He hit his head, then went on to win a gold medal.

And, this guy was elected president. Oh, sorry…I mean this guy.

And, just to show what an intelligent country he was elected to run. Enough people went to see this to make it the 5th top grossing movie of the year.

And, in 1988 a computer for cavemen was invented. Thank goodness times have changed.

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