My husband comes from a family of poker players. A family gathering isn’t complete without a Texas Hold-’em tournament…or two.

One of their favorite games is Omaha Hi Low. If you’ve never played it, it can get confusing. Actually, even if you have played it, it can get confusing. Trust me.

What you need to know is that it can be a split game. It’s always good to have a high hand, because it can win the whole pot or half the pot if there is a low hand that qualifies. A qualifying low hand is one where all five of your cards are under an eight and the cards can’t be paired. The best low hand is Ace through 5, which can also be a high hand. See? Confusing.

Why am I explaining this to you? Because my last week has been one constant game of Omaha High Low. Let’s review, shall we?

Royal Flush – I find out that I was chosen to speak at the BlogHer ’11 Conference Community Keynote. This is like the blogging equivalent of the Oscar…or the Heisman…depending on what you’re into.

Three 3’s and two 2’s – I realize that being chosen to speak at the Community Keynote means that I have to stand onstage, in front of thousands of people. It appears to be a low hand, but it ends up winning the pot as a high one.

4 of a Kind – I am picked for three, big, exciting campaigns, two of which may benefit my local community.

Ace through 4…and a 9 – Two campaigns are set to be unveiled (and therefore WORKED ON) the week before I attend the BlogHer ’11 Conference where I will do my job on Twitter with 30,000 people following what I say and where I will speak (again with the thousands of people). Almost a low hand, but not quite.

Straight Flush – A friend of mine, who knows I have been either sleeping on our couch or on top of six pillows because our 30 year old mattress hurts my back, tells me she’s going to make it her mission to win me a new bed. AND SHE DOES! I had to promise to give up liquor and Ambien, so you KNOW I want it bad.

2 through 6 – I check email only to find out that my daughter’s summer camp starts in three days. Two days after her softball tournament and one day after a big event I’m planning for a sponsor. Camp involves laundry, last minute supplies, packing for a week and driving her out of town. All while I’m doing that Twitter stuff, and my regular job and planning these three campaigns. What? Oh, I’m going to a conference next week? The one where people fret over what they’ll wear and how good their business cards look and making sure your shoes are stylish AND comfortable. Oh, and I’m speaking? And, there’s stuff to fill out for that? And, I may want to get my roots done, and wax my eyebrows and have you seen my feet? There needs to be a pedicure.

Flush – My daughter’s softball team wins their league championship and the tournament.

2 through 5…and a 7 – The games are in 100 degree heat, my old dog gets overheated on her walk, sees a trash truck (which she is terrified of), falls over and pees all over herself, my son gets a booger and it makes him vomit and then I trip over the reins of one of those horse heads on a stick.

Ace through 5 – I realize that despite being so busy that my head feels like it’s going to pop off, I will live through all of it, see good friends along the way, experience something I have only dreamed about, then sleep in a fabulous new bed.

No matter how you look at it, I win.

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I first met Casey at a meetup in Indianapolis, in 2008.  It was April 24, 2008…almost exactly three years ago.  Funny, but it feels like I’ve known her my entire life.

She was just how I had pictured her; kind, intelligent, funny, red-headed and adorable.  She, however, was shocked that the Momo Fali she met that night wasn’t a 300 lb. Samoan.

That trip to Indianapolis turned out to be one I will never forget.  And, not in a good way.  I spent most of the evening in tears, worried sick about my son.  I will never forget getting off the phone with my husband and falling against the wall in a sloppy, sobbing heap then looking up to see Casey standing there.  The hug that she gave me, from one stranger to another, got me through the night.

I came to find out that the hug was indicative of how much Casey gives of herself.  She embodies strength, honesty and friendship and since that first meeting, I have hugged her when she cried, she hugged me when I cried AGAIN, she has seen me in my bathing suit and I have arranged the marriage of my son and her first-born child.  For real.

She has openly shared her battle with depression and has probably saved some people in the process.  I respect Casey for that and for so much more.

As she prepares for the birth of her second child, I want her to know that I’m thinking of her, I’m proud of her and I’m so glad that she’s my friend.  Pregnancy has not been easy for Casey, but she has managed to endure.

But, still…I hate her a little because next to her, I really do look like a 300 lb. Samoan.

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I don’t really know where to start this post and I, most certainly, do not know where it will end. I guess that I should begin by saying that, in the last week, I let myself get so overwrought that I actually contemplated giving up something I really love. No, not chocolate. No, not beer.

I thought about giving up this blog.

I used to believe that if you’re going to do something…anything…you had better do it right, but I don’t really have time for that mantra anymore. Now, if I’m going to do something it’s half-assed or nothing at all.

My kids? Well, they get the best of what I can offer. My 25-hour a week job gets second best. then there’s my husband, laundry, cleaning, cooking, errands, volunteering…oh, and this blog. Sometimes I try to sleep, but I don’t even do that well.

I won’t mention that I am overweight and in the worst shape of my life. Wait. I guess I did mention it.

Trust me, out of all of the things for which I am responsible, I would love to give up laundry and cooking most of all. I even like to cook, but the time it takes out of my day is ridiculous. Of course, that’s if it’s going to be done right…which it usually isn’t.

On top of everything, I am looking for additional part-time work in the afternoons. Writing, editing, testing, whatever. I. Need. Cash. So, you know…call me. Who doesn’t want a haggard, stressed-out insomniac on their payroll? Oh, all of you then.

I am tired of living in a whirlwind. I am tired of doing so much, but doing nothing well. I’m tired of being sub-standard and not living up to my potential. I’m tired of being fat. I’m tired of hating myself. I’m tired of feeling weak.

I want to write. I want to read books. I want to go to Yoga class. I want to put my pictures into albums. I want to make a life list. I want to spend time with family and friends. I want to run. I want to do better.

I know that some people handle and accomplish far more than I do. Good for them. I can’t do it. I should get credit for my admission.

Unfortunately, I can barely find time to brush my hair, let alone do anything I want to do. And, unfortunately, there is nothing elective to give up other than this blog.

This special corner of my world, with the best support a girl could ask for, is the only thing I can quit.

But, before I do…I am open to suggestions. If you can help me save this place…this thing I love…that is so dear to me, I will be forever indebted. Just don’t count on me having time to pay you back.

**UPDATE**
To all of you who called, texted, e-mailed and commented…thank you. Your support proved to me that I’ll never be able to stop.

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I had a post for today, but ended up going to the hospital for some tests for my upcoming surgery on my girly parts, then I went to a staff meeting at work and spent the rest of the afternoon working on updating other areas of this site.

Overall, it was kind of a lazy summer day. With the exception of watching my son walk around clenching his jaw all day (because he put his teeth through his chin last night), the day was without drama. Yesterday, the hole in his lip did cause a bit of hoopla, but today? Wasn’t bad.

No drama is good around here. Boring and lazy is like a ray of sunshine, because more often than not we have a lot to deal with.

But, you know what? We’re one of the lucky families. My son may not live to be elderly, but given the medical advances in cardiology, you never know. Maybe he will. There are some children who have rare diseases for which little is known and for whom life could be cut way too short.

One of those children belongs to my friend, Kevin. Today, Kevin reminded me of how fortunate we are. Click here if you want to read why.

But, if there is one thing I really want you to click, it is this…

Your vote can mean $250,000 from the Pepsi Refresh Project to help fund research for this rare auto-immune disorder. YOU CAN HELP! Please vote for this. For me, for my friend, but more than anything for his daughter and all the kids like her.

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