I have been going to the same hair salon for many years. I LOVE my hair salon. I love my stylist, the atmosphere, the service and the fact that kids aren’t allowed unless they have an appointment. It has been my little oasis.

However, it’s not ideal. Sometimes it’s hard to get in, it’s a 20 minute drive from my house and it’s not cheap. And, that whole not allowing kids thing? It means that getting an appointment is even more difficult because I have to coordinate it with my husband’s schedule.

So last week, I walked into the little salon at the end of my street to check it out. Not only does this place allow you to bring your kids, but they’ll turn on a TV show for them. It’s also $30 cheaper than my regular place. Did I mention it’s at the end of my street? Exactly a two minute walk from my front door?

Convenience + Lower Price = “Who Wants to Give Momo Some Highlights?”

Because I was a new customer, the guy took care to make sure the color was right. He used three different shades, then gave me a haircut and waxed my unibrow. I was there for three hours.

When you’re sitting in a stylist’s chair for the better part of an afternoon, you do a lot of talking. When I got home, I realized that the poor guy probably thinks my name isn’t Momo, but rather Liar McLiarson. Why? Because these are a few of the things I told him:

1. That I had just got over swine flu and pneumonia, and that my doctor thought I had a pulmonary embolism.

2. That my son almost died from a strep pneumo infection.

3. That my son almost died after one of his surgeries.

4. That my mom was born in Honolulu and used to go to school barefoot and shimmy up trees to get away from wild boars.

5. That my mom was playing marbles outside a church when Pearl Harbor was bombed and saw fighter planes flying overhead. Then one of them crashed down the street.

6. That my daughter weighed 2 1/2 pounds when she was born.

7. That I used to have a high-pressure career and now I work as a lunch lady because my son sometimes chokes when he eats and I might need to perform the Heimlich.

8. That my husband and I went to Florida for a vacation, where we were greeted with temperatures in the 40’s. Then it took us four hours to drive 90 miles and we were rear-ended by a semi.

9. That I’m scared of cats because my neighbor’s cat used to stand on its hind legs and swat at me while hissing. Then it would attack me.

10. That I grew seven inches in nine months and ended up with stretch marks on my thighs when I was 12 years old.

Hopefully he thinks the chemicals soaked through my scalp and just made me seem crazy.

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My seven year old son, who has slight OCD tendencies, goes from one bad habit to the next. He went from constant swiping of his forehead, to scratching his arms and legs, to pulling up his pants incessantly, to eyebrow raising.

Most recently, he has regressed to the pants pulling, no matter how many times I tell him his jeans aren’t falling down. With this go-round of the pants tugging habit he has decided to throw in pulling up his socks as well. You know, for good measure.

I understand that these things are hard for him to stop doing. Addictions work that way. For instance, my mom, who quit smoking for almost 10 years, started again. But I hardly have room to talk when I can’t control myself if there is chocolate within 20 yards.

My daughter often chastises her brother for chewing with his mouth open, but what she doesn’t realize is that when she chews gum she resembles Violet Beauregarde. She also starts talking before I’ve had my coffee in the morning. Oh wait. I guess that’s my problem, not hers.

My husband listens to music too loud, I know a girl who over-whitens her teeth and I am friends with lots of people who drive too fast. Hi, Kim! Everyone has a bad habit.

As annoying as they may be, I suppose my son’s actions aren’t all that harmful. They aren’t disgusting either, as was the case when I was a child and I bit my nails. Ew. Now I take care of my nails as best I can. Of course, my new habit is picking my cuticles, because I like to defeat my own purpose.

So tell me, boys and girls, what habit do you wish you could break?

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1. After three weeks, “taking it easy” becomes completely overrated.

2. Daytime television is horrible, but middle-of-the-night television is even worse. At one point, you may find yourself so desperate that you watch an episode of Three’s Company. Shudder.

3. After two chest x-rays and a lung scan where you have to breathe radioactive gas through a tube, you’ll realize that if the flu, pneumonia or possible pulmonary embolism won’t kill you, the radiation eventually will.

4. Chicken and noodles is good.

5. Pain medicine is even better.

6. You may be so out of it that you won’t realize new carpet is being installed until it’s already been laid, covered with mud and cleaned up.

7. When no one will come near you, your dog’s affection is absolutely wonderful.

8. Even if that dog stinks.

9. Once you feel better and tell people you’re no longer contagious they will still take two steps back if you come near them.

10. You may come home from the hospital to find flowers, home-cooked food and groceries all over your kitchen.

11. And then you will realize how lucky you really are.

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The title says it all.

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