Day 7 – Constant Dog

posted by Momo Fali on November 7, 2011

She warms me.

She has been at my feet all day, occasionally lifting her head to look out the window and protect me from the ever present stream of people walking to the park. She lays still until a truck rolls onto our street and she begins to shiver with fear and I feel her trembling against my leg.

She didn’t used to be scared of anything, but age is crippling her body and mind. She shakes when we say her name, “Blue” because it may mean she needs to stand, which she can no longer do without two hands below her belly, pulling her lame back legs out from under her.

Once she stands, there is hesitation when she must move from the rug to the hardwood floor. She freezes at the edge of the carpet, setting one paw down on the solid surface with trepidation, then pulling it back to safety where there is fiber in which to lunge her claws and a soft landing for when she falls. She falls a lot these days.

Maybe if we lived someplace warm, where ice wasn’t looming like a slick, glassy artifice strategically placed between the safety of the front door and the soft snow in which she used to frolic; the simple stoop, a colossal divide. Last night, she had to be carried to the grass; even when the sky was clear and the earth was dry.

She has been here longer than the child who is about to be a teen. She is our constant. Through pain, sickness, death and tragedy she has been here at my feet.

Warming me.


  • Stacy @bklynstacy

    Oh noes. It’s so … un-fun to have to consider the passing of one of life’s best companions. xxx

  • Always Home and Uncool

    I understand.

  • Maria Niles

    Big hugs to you and your family, Momo and your dear sweet pup.


  • Melisa

    Oh Blue… 🙁
    Oh Momo. I know what this feels like.


  • Deb

    Hugs! I know this pain and heartache…. They are truly a love like no other! Much love to your Blue!

  • Laurie

    Old dogs are my true spirit animals. They know us best, they’ve seen it all. I was so much a better person when my guys were here.

    They also, I believe, tell us when they’re done, especially when they know we don’t want to decide ourselves.

    Love you, love Blue through you. xo.

  • Varda (SquashedMom)

    That is so hard, that coming to the end of a long life of love with an animal companion. This past spring I finally had to have my mother’s 19 year-old cat put down to end his suffering.

    I wish Blue an passing, and know that you will cherish these last few days/weeks/months together.

    Big hugs here.

  • Kathy

    I can’t even finish this. I’m sorry. I know this feeling all too well. Hugs.

  • Rhea

    You make me want to run home and hug my sweet Annie. It’s so hard to see your loved ones grow old…even the furry ones.

  • Crystal W. (@EatDrinkClev)

    My heart aches for you. Nothing is more precious than a pet. They love you unconditionally and keep your deepest secrets. Cherish the time you have left with Blue. I just gave my Buffy a big kiss and a treat in honor of her.

  • Sarah

    I love dogs. It says a lot about the human family of a dog (you and yours) when you talk of lifting her off the floor and carrying her to the grass, or even of acknowledging her fear. Brings tears to my eyes. Blue is blessed.

  • Tim@sogeshirts

    I love dogs so much and it’s the only thing that is so hard when you get a new dog. Eventually it gets old and passes on. My parents dog is getting up there. She isn’t super old yet but in a few more years she will be where Blue is.

    This was a fantastic tribute to Blue though and very well written.

  • meleah rebeccah

    Oh no. This is breaking my heart. *HUGS*

  • AlisonH

    Thank you for taking such good care of her.

  • Sarah@sarahsknight

    I lost my constant dog on Thursday after 12 years together. I’ve been crying all day and then remembered reading your blog. I just printed it out. It’s so beautiful and true. Thank you for writing this.

  • Trackbacks

  • Trackback from Momo Moments 2011 - Momo Fali's
    Tuesday, 27 December, 2011

    […] In November, I visited the Hocking Hills in southern Ohio and I lost my mind and tried to post every single day. I almost did it because it’s easy to write when you have a constant companion. […]

  • Trackback from Goodbye, Blue - Momo Fali's
    Thursday, 26 April, 2012

    […] few days ago, I lifted our old dog, Blue, off the floor and as she hobbled across the living room, my nine year old son stood […]

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