Changes

posted by Momo Fali on November 4, 2014

I think there are certain ways that people are always themselves, but I do think people change. -Mike White

I’m sure you’ve heard that you should never try to change someone, but what if that person used to be loving and kind and has changed into a destructive jerk? Shouldn’t you try to change them back to who they once were?

Yes, you should, and here’s why.

I am that person. Most of you don’t know it, but I lost control of my priorities and became a distant, grumpy, tired, shell of a person. Not all the time, unless you were fortunate enough to be one of the people who really love me; then you had meanest Momo every day.

My husband tried to tell me, but I thought it was impossible to shift my priorities from where they were; work, kids (which encompasses driving, sports, cooking, homework, doctors and more), house, laundry, blog, husband. Lucky guy, that one.

But, a couple of months ago I had a breakthrough, or what a therapist told me was “an awakening.”

Even though I thought there was NO WAY I could give any more of myself, in any capacity, I intentionally shifted my priorities. INTENTION being the key component of what I’m about to tell you, so make sure you see that word and soak it in.

I-N-T-E-N-T-I-O-N.

I intentionally made changes.

Work was still my #1 priority, but only during working hours and occasional overtime, like yesterday. During non-working hours, my husband went into the #1 slot, then kids, house, laundry and blog.

Sometimes laundry fell into the last slot, which is why we ran out of underwear, but I never waivered from keeping everything else in its rightful place. And, you know what? It wasn’t even that hard.

As a matter of fact, I started enjoying the heck out of my husband again and that carried over into how I interact with my children. I became nicer. Calmer. More peaceful.

Okay, that last one is a total lie. I’ve been grinding my teeth like crazy and I’ve HAD to start running again out of mental necessity, but I’m not taking out my frustrations on the people I care about more than anything.

I feel like my old self again. I uncovered the person who was buried under a pile of resentment, anger, jealousy and ego.

And, that change feels really good.

    Comments

  • Melisa


    Love you.

  • Heather A


    I need to do this too… Go you!

  • Ann


    One of the best pieces of marriage/family advice I ever got, was to consider carefully what you’re contributing to the atmosphere of your family, to the energy in your home. If you roll your eyes at your partner and mutter under your breath? That’s toxic waste. It was such a wake up call, and the results were immediate. Mainly b/c I realized it was ME and not THEM 9 times out of 10.

    So glad you’re feeling centered and good.

  • Kari


    You can always buy new underwear at WalMart in a pinch.
    THIS IS WHY I SHOULD BECOME A THERAPIST!
    No?
    Ok….back to blogging about tacos.

  • Daughterofmomo


    Proud of all the changes you’ve been making! You’re always really motivated and it helps me to know to know that benefits come from working hard <3

    • Melisa


      You’re an awesome young lady, DaughterOfMomo. xoxoxo

    • Amie


      Awwwwwwwww…. <3

  • Leigh Ann


    How easy it is to let the priorities shift dangerously. I hate it when I get in moods that I know are due to stress and unbalance priorities. Yay for awakenings! The laundry will always be there. 🙂

  • Liz


    Yeah, we go through something similar, about twice a year. When life insists on pulling us in so many different directions and farther apart, especially from the ones we love the most. Glad you made time to recalibrate, my friend. Nothing but love for you, Momo.

  • Shannon


    I kind of needed to read this today. We all need to push that reset button sometimes.
    Love to you.

  • Amie


    Clean underwear are overrated.

  • Sandra Davis


    I loved this!

  • alexandra


    Your label is wrong: not ramblings. PEARLS.

  • alexandra


    I know I got here with a lot of hard-work, sacrifices, self-motivation, networking, AND A WHOLE LOT OF LUCK AND BEING IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME.

    As perfect a formula, if there ever was one.

  • Laura in Little Rock


    I need to get back on that path. As I’m suffering the same plight and my poor kiddoes and hubs don’t deserve it. Only thus week I get allergies-head cold to go with it. Drat.

  • Trackbacks

  • Trackback from New Adventures - Momo Fali's
    Monday, 17 November, 2014

    […] my age, my kids’ ages or because I’ve had to come to terms with losing myself to find myself again. I feel like I’ve been asleep for a very long […]

Leave a Comment

Your email is never shared.
Required fields are marked *