No, not that kind of coming out! If there is anything to be gleaned from watching Josh Duhamel movies, it is that I am completely heterosexual. Okay, that’s probably the only thing to be gleaned from watching Josh Duhamel movies. I digress.

Almost a year ago, I had some routine blood-work done that showed my “bad” cholesterol was in the 260’s. For all of you 20-something readers, that’s high. Also, it’s been nice having you read my blog.

Truth be told, I was eating horribly; lots of fried, high-fat food and hardly any fruits or vegetables. I thought I could bring the numbers down by changing my diet. When my doctor asked, “What are we going to do about this cholesterol?”

I said, “I’m going to lose some weight!”

I don’t know if you know this, but you can’t just say, “I’m going to lose some weight” and have the weight come off. I’m sorry to break that to you. As a matter of fact, if you take a full-time job that has you sitting at your desk for long hours and working a lot of overtime, you will actually gain weight. Yep. It’s true.

Starting last September I really did try to change my diet, and in January I started working out about six times per week. I was making real changes, because the cancer in my family lit a fire under my patootie. I’m 40 now. I use words like “cholesterol” in blog posts. It was time.

When I went back to my doctor for a blood test in early February, I was sure these changes would be reflected in my numbers. Were they ever! My cholesterol went UP to nearly 290. It was awesome to hear that; almost as awesome as jumping off a two-story building and landing on your kneecaps.

My doctor said, “You’re building plaque as we sit here” and gave me two options; either take a statin drug every day, for the rest of my life, or drastically (and without moderation) alter my diet. When I asked him what that meant he said, “You’d have to go vegan.”

As in, no more butter. Ever.

It took me exactly two seconds to agree to try it. I have long said that I could easily be a vegetarian and when I pictured what was happening inside my body, the change was easy. Have I craved a nice, cheesy pizza? Yes. Is the cheesy pizza worth heart disease? No. I also know it isn’t good to drink alcohol while taking statins and if you ask me whether I’d rather give up animal products or beer, well…it’s not really a question at all.

I’m 11 weeks in to this lifestyle change and if my numbers are low enough after my next blood test, I can go off the prescription. Also, if that happens you’ll see me walking around with my arms in the air, like Rocky, for about a week. I’ll be the one yelling, “I WIN!”

Of course, not everyone has to take such drastic measures; I’m just lucky like that. I made my family cheeseburgers last night. Tonight, they’re having pork roast; tomorrow, barbecued chicken. You get the idea.

I, however, eat a lot of this:

So there, I’ve come out with it. Unless I’m miraculously approved to once again become a carnivore, you can refer to me as a vegan. Or, Rocky. Either one.

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The sky is blue, birds are chirping, and that can only mean one thing…it’s time to shop!

Because I believe in full disclosure, I will tell you that none of the following were provided by companies or sponsors and I am not being paid for my opinions on these items. I should also be clear and state that I am not above being paid for said items. Just sayin’.

Without further ado, here is my list of favorite things for spring!

1. Corona Light

Okay, I like this all year through, but on a sunny day when the mercury hits 72 degrees, this beer starts yelling for me to come get it out of the refrigerator. It’s true. It screams, even.

2. Softball

My daughter’s favorite sport and my favorite to watch, maybe because we sometimes take a cooler (see #1). The only other sport she plays now is golf, which is also fun as long as I have a cart (see #1 again).

3. Flip-Flops

I have more flip-flops than you can imagine. I have flip-flop issues. Also, handbags. And, Corona Light.

New Balance Flip Flops from Famous Footwear

4. Flameless Candles

I love sitting outside amidst candlelight, but the wind doesn’t always cooperate. These look just like the real thing, but they run on batteries. Ha ha! Take that, wind!

Gerson Company Candles from Amazon.com

5. Portable Fire Pit

We have two of these and they both came with removable bowls that can be used for ice, so you can either use it as a firepit (s’mores!) or as a place to ice down your drinks (see #1).

Odesa Firepit from Target

6. The Dhara Dress from Athleta

Wear it with aforementioned flip-flops, flats or Chuck Taylors, a cardigan or a jean jacket. This dress is soft, comfy, flattering and versatile. Need I say more? No, I need not.

7. Schick Quattro for Men Razor

First of all, yes, it’s for men. Men’s razors work better than women’s and when both sexes want to accomplish the same thing, I don’t understand why they see fit to market them differently. Bygones. I use this razor every single day and never get a nick. If you’re going to wear shorts or capris, you’re going to have to shave, and please…if you’re going to wear flip-flops, don’t forget the toe hair. There, I said it.

8. Blue, sparkly nails

I’m on a blue kick and a sparkly kick so this is the best of both worlds. With a blue base coat and this Revlon polish on top, my nails look like the color of the sky and they shine like the sun. Also, who likes clichés? *raises hand*

9. The ChickCAN Rack

Have you ever had beer-can chicken? It melts in your mouth and it’s as easy as drinking half of a beer (What? You have to!), sticking what’s left of it in this rack, then sitting a whole chicken on top. Rub in some seasonings, put it on your grill and you have a main dish that’s delicious. Plus, whole chickens are more inexpensive than buying breasts alone and you get more meat. Bonus!

Barbour ChickCAN Rack.

10. Cadbury Creme Eggs

If it weren’t for my doctor, I would eat my weight in these every spring. *shakes fist at milk chocolate*

Cadbury Creme Egg from Candy.com

Thanks a lot, high cholesterol. Thanks a lot.

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So, there was this post on BlogHer’s Own Your Beauty page yesterday about authenticity and the things that make us stand out as individuals. I kept thinking about it, wondering what makes me unique. Other than my Lebanese nose (read: Jamie Farr), how am I different? It was harder than I thought to come up with a list of 25 things that aren’t typical.

I think women spend a lot of time trying to look like one another, but it is our unique traits that make us beautiful. Now, don’t get me wrong…I’m not going to stop dying my hair, but maybe I won’t worry so much about that darned chipped tooth.

1. I have big hands.

2. I have big feet. Size 11, to be exact. But, you know what? They’re pretty.

3. I hate to fly.

4. I hate to drive long distances almost as much as I hate flying.

5. I’m convinced I will die a tragic death. Probably in an airplane crash or a car accident.

6. I take Zoloft for anxiety.

7. Coffee, chocolate, peanut butter and beer are my four food groups.

8. I don’t mind all of the scars on my body, because they all have a memory associated with them. Good or bad. Even this one.

9. I shave every day. My legs, that is. I can’t stand the feel of hair against clothing. *shudder*

10. I save articles from magazines and newspapers for my daughter to read when she’s old enough to move out. Things that I hope will keep her informed and safe.

11. I think it is disgusting when people bite their nails.

12. I bite my nails.

13. I also pick at my cuticles constantly (see above re: anxiety).

14. I hate elevators.

15. And, carnations.

16. I am terrified of cats (not kittens, but the full-grown, sneaky, pouncing, scratchy kind).

17. I have a cowlick on the back of my head. In the 4th grade, I cut it off because it wouldn’t lay flat for school picture day. It looked delightful growing back.

18. I open my mouth and throw my head back when I laugh. Probably so everyone behind me can see my cowlick and everyone in front of me can see my fillings.

19. You know how people have those camping chairs in a bag that they lug to fireworks or their kids’ baseball games? Well, I still use a good, old-fashioned lawn chair. The kind with the interwoven straps.20. I’m good at painting walls and never need tape.

21. My musical tastes range from Joni Mitchell to Black Eyed Peas.

22. I’m tone deaf. Well, not really…because I can actually hear that I can’t carry a tune.

23. I constantly have songs stuck in my head and they will change at the drop of a hat. Someone says the word “prerogative” and it’s suddenly all Bobby Brown up in here. You’re welcome.

24. My favorite flavor of popsicle is banana.

25. I have a crooked smile.

Now it’s your turn. What makes you different boys and girls?

I know two ways you could be different…you could be the winner of a $100 gift card to Dick’s Sporting Goods courtesy of BlogHer and sponsored by Gatorade or the winner of a $100 gift card to Best Buy courtesy of BlogHer and sponsored by Samsung.

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My kids have embarrassed me a lot.  I know it’s supposed to be the other way around and it’s possible that I have skipped in the supermarket and walked down the aisle at Home Depot with my hand in my husband’s back pocket just to get my tween daughter all worked up.

But, I have never turned their faces red in church.

A couple of weeks ago, my son not only applauded after the priest finished his homily, but my daughter also leaned over and whispered loudly, “Mom, your roots are really dark.”

But, even they can’t trump what my husband did in church when he went rummaging through my purse looking for mints and instead pulled out a package of Beano.

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