Posts Filed Under My Better Half

Changes

posted by Momo Fali on November 4, 2014

I think there are certain ways that people are always themselves, but I do think people change. -Mike White

I’m sure you’ve heard that you should never try to change someone, but what if that person used to be loving and kind and has changed into a destructive jerk? Shouldn’t you try to change them back to who they once were?

Yes, you should, and here’s why.

I am that person. Most of you don’t know it, but I lost control of my priorities and became a distant, grumpy, tired, shell of a person. Not all the time, unless you were fortunate enough to be one of the people who really love me; then you had meanest Momo every day.

My husband tried to tell me, but I thought it was impossible to shift my priorities from where they were; work, kids (which encompasses driving, sports, cooking, homework, doctors and more), house, laundry, blog, husband. Lucky guy, that one.

But, a couple of months ago I had a breakthrough, or what a therapist told me was “an awakening.”

Even though I thought there was NO WAY I could give any more of myself, in any capacity, I intentionally shifted my priorities. INTENTION being the key component of what I’m about to tell you, so make sure you see that word and soak it in.

I-N-T-E-N-T-I-O-N.

I intentionally made changes.

Work was still my #1 priority, but only during working hours and occasional overtime, like yesterday. During non-working hours, my husband went into the #1 slot, then kids, house, laundry and blog.

Sometimes laundry fell into the last slot, which is why we ran out of underwear, but I never waivered from keeping everything else in its rightful place. And, you know what? It wasn’t even that hard.

As a matter of fact, I started enjoying the heck out of my husband again and that carried over into how I interact with my children. I became nicer. Calmer. More peaceful.

Okay, that last one is a total lie. I’ve been grinding my teeth like crazy and I’ve HAD to start running again out of mental necessity, but I’m not taking out my frustrations on the people I care about more than anything.

I feel like my old self again. I uncovered the person who was buried under a pile of resentment, anger, jealousy and ego.

And, that change feels really good.

Gravity

posted by Momo Fali on November 2, 2014

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These people. These goofy, blurry, imperfect people to my right are what make my life sane, clear and ideal. Okay, not sane exactly, but they do keep my head on straight. They are my purpose. My gift.

They are why I get out of bed every morning and wash dishes every night. They are why I’m buried in laundry and, occasionally, smothered with love. They are my everything.

Is that healthy? Probably not. But, I don’t care. All of my eggs are in this kooky basket of misfits and I’m fine with it. Before a concerned reader emails me and tells me I’m not living my life right, let me say that I take care of me too. I started running again, I hit the gym a few times a week, I write, I took a painting class, I started coloring thanks to a generous gift of Coloring Animal Mandalas from my friend, Melisa – so, I’m not neglecting myself.

But, those people up there? They lift me up and they keep me grounded at the same time. And, you can’t ask for a better atmosphere than that.

I volunteered to watch a scary movie with my husband the other night. I hate scary movies. I haven’t cared for them since seeing Amityville Horror at the tender age of EIGHT (thanks, Aunt Connie). I can’t even watch 48 hours when I’m in the house alone.

But, my husband said if I’d watch Jeepers Creepers with him we would turn the lights out and there would be snuggling and air-popped popcorn, so I had that going for me. If there had been Raisinets, I would have submitted to a double-feature. He likes me because I’m easy.

So we settled in and went in search of Jeepers Creepers, which we couldn’t find even though both of us had seen it listed on HBO, or Netflix, or somewhere. This left us with surprisingly few options given we were just days away from Halloween. Get your act together, cable. What good are you if you can’t make a women pee her pants with fear?

After scrolling through the selections, we stumbled across Children of the Corn. I had never seen it, so it seemed a good choice. You can’t go wrong with Stephen King, right? Wrong.

The acting! The music! The special effects! The 80s!

I could make a better movie with my iPhone and my dogs playing the lead roles. I mean, honestly, it didn’t even turn me off of running between rows of corn, which I’m pretty sure will never happen, but if it were to happen I should be terrified, which I wouldn’t be. So, if you see me running between rows of corn, you’ll know why I’m not scared.

Now I feel like I need to watch more horror movies, because maybe they aren’t scary at all and I’ve been missing the chance to have a good laugh. Next up: Leprechaun in the Hood.

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Netflix and Mini Milestones

posted by Momo Fali on October 21, 2014

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My husband really wants my daughter to watch Halloween. You remember it, right? Jamie Lee Curtis stars as the babysitting teen, chased and tormented by Michael Myers; not the one of Shrek fame, but rather the escaped psychiatric inmate and slasher. I hate that movie. I hate scary movies in general, but my daughter is at that tender age where her parents need to show her that it’s never okay to answer the door when she’s home alone and that she can never, ever trust a landline. Life lessons, we haz ‘em.

Thankfully, we’ve decided to scare her with something a little more tame and less likely to occur in real life, which is “LOST”, also known as, “My favorite show, EVER.” Okay, the plane crash could happen, but the chance of landing in paradise with ample fresh water and tubs of Dharma Initiative ranch dressing is not usually the end result. Also, smoke monsters.

In addition to sharing the experience with my daughter, the beauty of rewatching “LOST” is that my husband and I are catching all kinds of stuff that we never noticed the first time around. There are subtle, and not-so-subtle, clues of what’s to come. Our daughter not knowing what’s going to happen is just plain fun for us. We rub our hands together and evil laugh, nod, raise our eyebrows and say, “Hmmm…I wonder what THAT means?” a lot. Then our daughter rolls her eyes.

Of course, getting her to sit down to watch “LOST” means that we’ve pulled her away from “Dr. Who”, “Sherlock” or “Merlin”, which are also good for this spooky season (and all available for streaming on Netflix). They’re not too scary, but they are suspenseful and they make me feel intelligent on account of all the British.

It’s fun to have my daughter at a point in her life where we can introduce her to shows we enjoy. It may not be a traditional milestone, but you can be sure we’re making memories. Anyway, we aren’t a traditional family because when she eventually watches Halloween, I bet my husband will be really proud.

 

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