There are many days when I look at my kids and find myself jealous of them.

They have an almost complete lack of responsibility. Outside of my nine year old daughter’s homework and some very minimal chores at home, these children don’t have much on their daily list of things to accomplish.

They have energy I can only dream about. Oh wait, I don’t sleep. That’s another thing. They snooze right through the night. Every night.

They skip, climb trees, and swing. Life is fun.

The other day my Mom was visiting, and she asked how much my daughter weighs. I replied, “Sixty-one pounds.”

And I added “Not Ashamed of Their Weight” to my list of jealousies, when my daughter piped in, “Don’t forget the point four!”

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My husband runs a half marathon every spring, and is now in training mode. Due to the 20 inch snowfall we had yesterday, he had to suck it up and run eight miles on my treadmill.

Our five year old son saw him plugging along and said to me, “Dad is running SO fast.”

I replied, “He is, isn’t he? He runs much faster than I do.”

He looked at his father again, then said, “Yeah, but his face turns purple, just like yours does.”

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At the bank last week, the teller handed my son a sucker and then asked him, “How old are you?”

He replied, “I’m five. And, my Mom is 16!”

But, why I felt the need for nervous laughter and to say, “No I’m not”, I’ll never know. I’m pretty sure the wrinkles speak for themselves.

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Clear signs that I’m getting old…

* I get mad when my paper isn’t on the doorstep by 7:00 AM

* I scan the obituaries in said paper

* I get excited that the grocery store has Super-Double-Coupons

* The subject line in the e-mails I send to my friends no longer say things like “party” or “BYOB”, but instead say things like, “Fiber”, “Shredded Wheat” and “Lactose Intolerant”

* In 10 years, my daughter will be nineteen

* I know the phone number to my pharmacy by heart

* My older sister is a grandmother

* I turn on MTV and say things like, “What is this crap?”

* After playing on the floor with my kids, I make odd, and quite audible, noises when I get up

* And lastly, because I can relate to this…

Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand while standing in front of the refrigerator. I can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady chimed in with, “Sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up, or on my way down.”

The third one responded, “Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have that problem…knock on wood.” Then she rapped her knuckles on the table and said, “That must be the door, I’ll get it!”

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